IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

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We all have a split opinion that some people dislike
change
Use synonyms
 in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 others think that they should
change
Use synonyms
 and develop as per need. Let's discuss why
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some people want things to stay the same and why should
change
Use synonyms
 be regarded as
someting
Correct your spelling
something
 positive in the below paragraphs.
Firstly
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, there are individuals who have a
fix
Change the verb form
fixed
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 schedule for the day and are already
fitted
Replace the word
fit
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 in their comfort zone.
For example
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, they wake up, go to work, relax and sleep.
This
Linking Words
 routine has been followed by them for years and adding changes in their routine will lead to consequences
such
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 as
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
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 due
new
Change preposition
to new
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 responsibilities.
Secondly
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, in order to bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes one has to put
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 extra
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
, time and learning.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 working in the same company
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 10 years and now
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to
change
Use synonyms
 his or her job
then
Linking Words
 they will have to adapt new environment, timings, learning, etc.
Hence
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, in order to avoid
this
Linking Words
 some people want things to stay the same.
Change
Use synonyms
 can help grow a person in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects of life
such
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 as financial, emotional, etc. It should always be regarded as something positive as we become a better version of ourselves with learning and experience. As per
latest
Add an article
the latest
a latest
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 study,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
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 70% of humans are accepting
change
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 in a positive manner and
also
Linking Words
 progressing because of
this
Linking Words
 attitude.

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Language Use
Work on varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic range and flexibility.
Development and Support
Try to include more detailed examples to support your arguments, ensuring these are explicitly linked to the question topics.
Introduction Clarity
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points to be covered, enhancing immediate clarity for the reader.
Conclusion Development
Incorporate a conclusion that summarises the key points made and reflects on the implications or future outlooks related to the topic.
Content Relevance
Effective discussion on why some individuals prefer minimal changes in their lives, providing understandable reasons and examples.
Positive Argumentation
The positive framing of change as a vehicle for personal and societal growth is a strong point, effectively encouraging a progressive viewpoint.
Structure
Good logical structure, with a clear division between the discussion of resistance to change and the benefits of change.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Skepticism
  • Inevitable
  • Progression
  • Innovation
  • Cultural identity
  • Familiarity
  • Aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Economic stability
  • Global awareness
  • Personal growth
What to do next:
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