Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

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It is often believed that all young

people

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should gain an understanding of being a respected parent at

school

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. I partially agree with

this

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, for the frequency of many young parents hurting their

children

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today regardless of the growing importance of academic subjects to tackle serious social issues. On the one hand, it is increasingly necessary for every young student to learn the knowledge and skills needed to be a good parent with the rising number of incidents involving

children

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For example

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, they are more likely to abuse

children

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, often leading to serious injuries and deaths, as they are often too immature to regulate their emotions.

Thus

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school

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education is crucial to develop abilities of self-control, encouraging them to be more patient and prepared for the unexpectancy that comes with raising

children

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This

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can not only increase confidence in young parents but

also

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reduce child victims.

On the other hand

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such

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education about raising

children

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school

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is not as significant as academic lessons, from which young

people

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should learn to live a better life in

this

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fast-changing world. Indeed, as

people

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live a more complicated life than ever with growing natural disasters, rapid globalization and technological development,

school

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education should put more priority on enhancing necessary intelligence and techniques including language and technology to overcome these difficulties than learning to become a good parent.

Furthermore

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this

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will directly affect their own lives and careers, which is more essential to be an independent adult. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that young

people

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should be taught the important skills to be respected parents at

school

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due to

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the rise of child abuse.

However

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, they should first focus on more academic subjects to acquire skills in language and technology, which facilitate their own lives.

mizuhoFri Aug 23 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear viewpoint and overall responds to both parts of the task. However, the argument could be better developed with more specific and varied examples to support the points made.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical structure, there are areas where the progression of ideas could be smoother. Try to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to clearly guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the writer's position.

task achievement

The main points are supported with explanations, and there is a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

Your college has a considerable amount of money to spend on improving your school security. You've been asked to write a report for the director saying whether the money should be spent on more security guards or sophosticated equipment.

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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.