The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time what are the causes of this continue rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity #time #continue

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Nowadays,the

number

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of population in the world is increasing exponentially.

That is

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to say,

this

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causes

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problems

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for mankind.In the following paragraphs,

causes

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and effects will be discussed in detail. There are mainly two sources causing

this

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Firstly

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,the mortality

rate

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is facing a dramatic downward trend

due to

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the advancement of medical knowledge.Diseases that tend to be severe resulting in millions of human deaths in the past are no longer our concern.

For instance

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,many infectious diseases including tuberculosis,malaria and typhoid.

Secondly

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, the

Birth

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rate

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is climbing up.As you can see in the previous two generations,people usually have more than ten offspring.

Although

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the

birth

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rate

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is not substantially rising as before

due to

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financial

problems

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,it is still going up with the aid of technology

such

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as artificial insemination. The increasing

number

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of people

also

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causes

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problems

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In other words

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,citizens in some countries have to face a scarcity of resources

such

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as water,food and other supplies.

Also

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,humans are the main

causes

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of multiple natural

problems

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such

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as global warming,extinction of other wildlife species,pollution and deforestation.In simple terms, the

number

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of people corresponds with the

number

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of natural

problems

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.From my perspective,Even though

this

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is one of the

problems

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,it is not the greatest one.The real problem today is an aging society because the mortality

rate

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is reduced significantly but the

birth

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rate

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is no longer increasing by the same percentage. To summarize,the world's population is still rising.

However

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, the mortality and

birth

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rates are not corresponding causing the

number

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not to be the greatest problem.The

aging

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ageing

show examples

society is the one we should be concerned.

Submitted by chawanat.pla on Wed Oct 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the essay provides an introduction and conclusion, consider linking the paragraphs more smoothly with connecting phrases or sentences to enhance flow.

task achievement

Although you present relevant causes and effects, try to incorporate more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. This would improve the task achievement score.

task achievement

Addressing whether the population rise is indeed the greatest problem could be expanded further to show a balanced view, which can ‘agree’, ‘disagree’, or partially agree more explicitly with the statement.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are logically structured, presenting causes of population rise followed by their effects.

task achievement

You address the task by discussing causes and effects of the population rise, providing a reasonably balanced argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time what are the causes of this continue rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Your opinion

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

All large companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree

In many countries today, crime novel and TV crime dramas are becoming more popular. Why do you think are these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?