In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
certain
number of governments Change the article
a certain
the certain
safety
regulations detrmain
wearing particular hats Correct your spelling
determine
an
Correct your spelling
and
clothes
for worker
in certain Fix the agreement mistake
workers
factories
. This
will essay explore that
how Correct word choice
apply
this
action is effective due to
protect workforce
against any possible danger, Correct article usage
the workforce
as well as
, allowing people to work easier
in hard conditions and will Rephrase
more easily
introduces
other possible Change the verb form
introduce
safety
laws such
as using particular equipments
and Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
avoid
using digital Wrong verb form
avoiding
divices
in some certain areas.
Correct your spelling
devices
This
regulation protect
Change the verb form
protects
workers
from unpredictable dangers such
as hit
. If Fix the agreement mistake
hits
workers
wear hard hat
, they are protected against any possible hit to their head. Fix the agreement mistake
hats
For example
, in factories
Add a comma
factories,
whih
Correct your spelling
which
is
associated with heavy stones, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
workers
might be in danger of hit to their head
and using Fix the agreement mistake
heads
hard
hat could lower Correct article usage
a hard
this
risk. Furthermore
, these clothes
assist workers
to perform better in harsh circomstances
. Some Correct your spelling
circumstances
factories
might have spacial
conditions Correct your spelling
special
such
as high tempretures
, Correct your spelling
temperatures
therefore
, these safety
clothes
protect workers
.
Additionally
, there are some sorts of laws which can protect Correct article usage
the worksforce
worksforce
properly like obligating them to use particular Correct your spelling
workforce
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
such
as divices
which monitor their Correct your spelling
devices
helth
condition at work. Correct your spelling
health
This
could be effective espacially
for those with heart Correct your spelling
especially
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Moreover
, using some devices such
as phones or lap-tops
in some parts of Correct your spelling
laptops
factories
might cause fire ore
damage, Correct your spelling
or
therefore
, restraining these devices should be considered. For instance
, in nuclear plants phones are restricted due to
the
any possible Remove the article
apply
dameges
which stem from their signals.
In conclusion, using Correct your spelling
damages
damage
hard
Add an article
a hard
the hard
hat
and Fix the agreement mistake
hats
espacial
Correct your spelling
especial
clothes
can fandamentally
assist Correct your spelling
fundamentally
workers
in some factories
by lifegaurding
them against Correct your spelling
lifeguarding
safeguarding
hit
, Fix the agreement mistake
hits
as well as
facilitating the harsh work situations. Moreover
, some rules are suggested to providing
Wrong verb form
provide
safety
like carrying divices
for Correct your spelling
devices
traking
their Correct your spelling
tracking
taking
overall
well-being and restricting some digital divices
in certain Correct your spelling
devices
factories
.Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to focus on clearly organizing your thoughts into separate paragraphs. You have a good structure potential, but it could be more divided between distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion patterns.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points more fully. You have good ideas, but they could be explored more comprehensively to enhance clarity and support for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Watch for minor spelling and grammatical errors, which slightly distract from the clarity of your task response. Although they don't significantly impact your argument, they are noticeable.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the need for safety laws and provides specific examples such as hard hats and monitoring devices.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've concluded your argument well by summarizing the main points and linking it back to the safety regulations. This helps reinforce your opinion effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your writing has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument nicely and gives it a logical flow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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