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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be best way to get a job.On the other hand,other people think that getting experience and developing soft-skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

#university #education #job #hand #people #soft-skills
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People hold different points of view about whether higher
education
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 is more significant for attaining a desirable job or achieving sufficient experience and soft -skills is the key point. There are strongly opposite arguments on both sides and I believe both nuances should be developed for getting a higher career post.
This
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 essay demonstrates
firstly
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, the significance of
education
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 followed by an analysis of other nuances' importance.
To begin
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 with, a university
education
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 is a very important request in the modern labour market.
That is
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 to say that a large number of mechanical positions are residing at an increasing speed by artificial intelligence and robots in recent years.
Therefore
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, candidates should get to a higher
education
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 level as far as they can with the intent of dealing with more specific knowledge-demanded tasks.
For example
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,
according to
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 recent explorations since 2018 gigantic corporations like Amazon have replaced humans with robots more than 30 % of their total staff.
On the other hand
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, only
education
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 is not adequate for a desired job.
In other words
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, employers
also
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 demand a minimum of 5 years of experience and developed soft-skill from candidates for future achievements of their companies. Employees can deal with the possible problems in interpersonal communication for successful teamwork.
In addition
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, big companies do not want to waste time teaching junior workers in competitive job conditions.
Thus
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, there are a large number of young people who can not find a favourable position during the postgraduate period across the globe. In conclusion, I contend that comprehensive development of both
education
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 and other skills is the key point to maximise getting a future successful career.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more specific examples and elaboration on key points. This can make your argument more compelling and evidence-based.
coherence cohesion
In order to improve coherence and cohesion, work on transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help to create a smoother flow in your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and discusses both sides of the argument, which is important for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the essay. They help to present and summarize your main points clearly.
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