Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #circumstances #e #g #poverty #nature

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of criminals in many countries, even if their national economy is growing.

Therefore

, people hold different views about the factors contributing to

crimes

. Some people believe that the soaring crime rates are related to circumstances, including poverty and other social problems. One main reason in favour of

this

view

is that the majority of offenders are indeed poor,

due to

socially disadvantaged backgrounds or lack of the ability to make a living.

Consequently

, they are forced to steal or rob in the case where their desires,

such

as decent clothes or exquisite meals, cannot be fulfilled by their own money.

Besides

, young convicts may be influenced by violent scenes in the media. Generally, the actors and their behaviours may be cool from their perspective, so they are unconsciously and adversely affected and even begin to imitate the actions in their real life, which are more prone to damage others and even break laws.

However

, the fact that some governors with power

Add the comma(s)

, as well as intelligence and managers with wealth,

show examples

as well as

intelligence and managers with wealth

also

violate laws denies the

view

above.

Hence

, some individuals think that genes dictate whether one commits

Correct article usage

a crimes

show examples

crimes

Fix the agreement mistake

crime

show examples

or not. In their

view

, the reason why the wealthy or clever commit

crimes

is that they are bad naturally.

This

means it is the traits that they inherited from their parents that decide their cruel behaviours.

However

, if

this

were true, we could predict a person’s personality or character from the moment they were born. In my

view

, it is the interaction of nature and nurture that shapes a person’s value and influences

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

one person will commit

crimes

or not.

Submitted by 1378468145 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

Provide more balanced reasoning on each viewpoint. While the essay provides clear reasoning for both perspectives, further examples or statistics could strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain focus and consistency in your argument. While coherence is generally good, refining transitions could further enhance understanding.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets up the debate and introduces the two perspectives.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the discussion effectively and provides the writer's own opinion.

task achievement

The essay discusses both views thoroughly, providing a well-rounded analysis.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic directly, with a relevant response to the task prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A section of the society holds the belief that content telecasted by various channels offers no actual benetits for the younger audiences.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?