IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#government #tax #food #people
Opinions are divided over whether governments and regulators should impose higher
taxes
 to keep the public away from unhealthy foods. I don't agree with the government interfering with
people
's choices as
this
 would have a negative impact not only on society but on single
families
.
First,
generally speaking,
taxes
 have always been a burden for most
families
, especially low-income groups in society.
For example
, many
people
 may have an income that barely covers basic household expenses, but if they have two or more children, they may pay extra tax on cakes or snacks for their children. Just because these foods are sweet, they may fall into the unhealthy category, which is unfair.
In addition
, some
families
 may pay more because of their family
food
 traditions.
This
 approach of treating
food
 separately is wrong, destroys
people
's consumption structure, and is not conducive to social harmony.
Therefore
, there is no need to tax
this
. Beyond that, it's important to realize that there are many other, better ways to educate
people
 about following a healthy diet.
This
 can be seen from the fact that in order to keep adults and children away from junk
food
,
people
 should always remind themselves and those around them to maintain a scientific and healthy eating attitude when shopping and eating.
For example
, both schools and parents should educate young
people
 and help them develop healthy
food
 preferences. It
also
 sets an example for the younger generation. In
this
 way, more and more
families
 will gradually stay away from unhealthy foods. All in all, the authorities have many options to encourage the public rather than simply increasing
taxes
.
To sum up
, considering raising
taxes
 to control the consumption of unhealthy
food
 is not a wise approach, so I disagree. ​
Submitted by careyche on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout; your stance on the issue needs to be consistent and clear from the introduction through to the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Expand on your main points by providing more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and clarify your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating more complex sentences and use a variety of conjunctions to improve cohesion between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the range of linking words used to help the reader follow the progression of thoughts more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score, ensure your introduction and conclusion are fully developed and directly address the essay prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Government intervention
  • Public health issues
  • Taxation
  • Unhealthy food
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Consumption
  • Sugar taxes
  • Disproportionately affect
  • Low-income families
  • Healthy alternatives
  • Public health education
  • Socioeconomic groups
  • Subsidies
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Food education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: