IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some schools are very strict about school uniforms and student appearance, while others have a more relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of students wearing school uniforms?

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Some
schools
Use synonyms
 are very firm about
school
Use synonyms
 clothes and
student
Use synonyms
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
.
School
Use synonyms
uniforms
Use synonyms
 and
student
Use synonyms
 appearance can undoubtedly contribute to
creates
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 equality,
reduces
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 differences and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 focused on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 , but there are
also
Linking Words
 certain drawbacks that should be taken into account. One of the primary advantages of
uniforms
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
 and
student
Use synonyms
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
 is that it creates equality. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, reduces differences in
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
in come
Correct your spelling
income
show examples
 and social background.
For instance
Linking Words
,
uniforms
Use synonyms
 make it harder to tell if a
student
Use synonyms
 comes from a wealthy or less wealthy family because all of them will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
look like same.
As a result
Linking Words
, all of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
feel the same .
Anthor
Correct your spelling
Author
Another
 benefit is that
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 focused on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
, not on fashion .
This
Linking Words
 is because the
student
Use synonyms
 will not be
worry
Wrong verb form
worried
show examples
 about what
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
they
 will be
wear for
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
 every
days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
avoids
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoid
show examples
 the pressure to wear trendy clothes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are notable disadvantages to consider.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
uniforms
Use synonyms
 can be
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
expensive. Simply put, they need
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money to buy
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
 the parents
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have money how the
student
Use synonyms
 can
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
go to
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
schools
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, if the
student
Use synonyms
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
 a uniform
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in school
show examples
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
 they should
be stay
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
 at home because some
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
schools
Add an article
the schools
show examples
rule
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to come
Change preposition
in
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 clothes.
Secondly
Linking Words
, stop
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 from showing
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 personal style when they
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 able to wear what they want so they cant be look
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 what they want,
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 may feel that they cannot be themselves.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
uniforms
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 look
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 certain benefits,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 lead to
uniforms
Use synonyms
can be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 expensive and stop
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 from showing
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 personal style. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 recommended that
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of the
uniforme
Correct your spelling
uniform
uniforms
schools
Use synonyms
 should be not
expansive
Correct word choice
expensive
show examples
 and able
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to wear what they want for some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
days.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that connect logically. For instance, you can use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state the purpose of your essay, and in the conclusion, summarize the main points effectively. Ensure both sections align closely with the content discussed.
task achievement
Avoid repetition and focus on developing each argument with specific examples or a deeper explanation. This will help in making your task achievement stronger.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples to enhance your arguments. This will make your task achievement more comprehensive.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion.
task achievement
You used examples to clarify the points about school uniforms creating equality, showing the reader what you mean.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • school spirit
  • belonging
  • individuality
  • self-expression
  • discipline
  • distraction
  • uniform policy
  • financial burden
  • conformity
What to do next:
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