Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
some contend that governments
are responsible for artists' funding, others argue that creative painters and musicians should use alternative financial supports
. I am of the opinion that both Fix the agreement mistake
support
governments
and small businesses should allocate money for these activities
.
On the one hand, there is a call for governments
to provide adequate funding for painting displays and music performances, as this
act can bring about benefits at societal levels. Firstly
, national musics foster a sense of patriotism among citizens. This
in
turn, can benefit the whole society as people become more empathetic, and their contribution to social Add the comma(s)
, in
activities
such
as voting and community service increases. Secondly
, by becoming a stakeholder in these exhibitions, governments
can address demanding issues effectively. Paintings that illustrate a dismal future and its correlation with human activities
can raise awareness, and encourage people toward a more sustainable lifestyle. The more cognizant citizens become, the sooner the situation will be remedied.
However
, it is inevitable that using other sources not only alleviates the pressure imposed on governments
but also
enables artists to bring about impartial work. One of the main reasons as to
why people are concerned about the government's funding is the existence of pressing issues. Indeed, there are many environmental problems, Change preposition
apply
such
as pollution and animal extinction that require immediate attention, in the face of which allocating money for painters and musicians pale. Moreover
, works funded by governments
are usually biased and in favour of their profit. These displays are in stark contrast with the nature of art and force artists to find alternative sources, such
as small businesses and charities for their exhibitions. For instance
, it would be unattainable to illustrate politicians' caricatures in an exhibition funded by governments
. These restrictions, which contradict the character of art, necessitate pursuing other sources.
In conclusion, finding the right source for artistic activities
is something that divides opinions. Although
I aknowledge
the reasons based on which one is usually considered to outweigh the other, I believe that Correct your spelling
acknowledge
goverenments
and small businesses hold equal responsibility in addressing the issue.Correct your spelling
governments
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning particular artists or events that are funded by governments or alternative sources.
task achievement
Ensure clarity in your expression by proofreading for minor grammatical errors and typos.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the transitions between points to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear discussion of both views, with a balanced opinion presented.
coherence cohesion
You effectively structured the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The points are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the debate.