some people think that money makes a life a comfortable others think that a large amount of money brings more trouble. do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
It is often argued whether
money
is an essential factor in making life
more comfortable. Some claim that having a huge amount of money
is crucial for a better living whereas
others are firm in their belief that this
brings several issues. Personally, I am a proponent of the view that the advantages of this
exceed the disadvantages. in this
essay, I am going to elucidate both the benefits and drawbacks of this
.
One
of the most obvious benefits of having a huge amount of money
is that it ensures people
acquire the quality of education. For example
, the wealthy are able to study in high-ranked universities like Yale University thanks to money
, allowing them to reach their best knowledge. Further
, having a fortune is undoubtedly essential for maintaining one
's overall
well-being. Wealthy people
are able to consume healthy , expensive food which contains high levels of minerals, decreasing the risks of facing health problems. Finally
, wealthy people
can travel to various places. One
study conducted at Nazaarbaev University proves that individuals who travel frequently face less stress, proving that having money
is crucial for stress management . Thus
, being wealthy makes life
much more convenient.
Nevertheless
, it is significant to recognize that being a prosperous person may have certain drawbacks. To begin
with, the majority of affluent people
lacking control over money
are known to commence bad habits such
as the usage of drugs and extensive rate of alcohol consumption.A good example of this
is Macaulay Culkin who became wealthy after acting in several films. However
, his career ended because of drug addiction. This
example proves that having a huge degree of money
can destroy one
's life
owing to low money
management skills . In addition
, it is widely accepted that rich people
are surrounded by fake friends. Noticing this
fact may cause emotional trauma to the wealthy. Consequently
, this
may lead to psychological problems.
In conclusion, Although
it seems that being a prosperous person may cause issues due to
a lack of control over money
, I strongly believe that money
is the most important factor in creating a convenient life
.Therefore
benefits of being rich overshadow the drawbacks. However
,it is recommended that wealthy individuals should improve their money
management skillsSubmitted by pandatvin3 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances understanding.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You have thoroughly addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
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