Some people think most crime is the result of circumstances e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #circumstances #e #g #poverty #nature

Currently, people are debating whether

crimes

are the result of circumstances or criminals' nature. In my view, both of them are partial, but I am inclined towards the former since it at least accounts for a part of

crimes

Correct pronoun usage

There

show examples

has been a consensus among legal practitioners that abnormal upbringing is partly responsible for delinquencies or

crimes

Although

this

perspective is reasonable in considering individuals as the product of interaction between circumstances and selfhood, the predicament of applying

this

understanding to judicial practice is that it is hard to determine the extent to which a particular condition leads to a crime.

For example

, in the case of Simpson killing his wife, his counsel repeatedly implied that the pervasive prejudice against blacks in the US at the time contributed to the abhorrent crime, and

hence

the court ought to mitigate the punishment. In light of

this

, the essay can only partly accept

this

theory, as it is easily utilised to justify the claim that there is no criminal, only a terrible society,

therefore

every criminal can be exempted from punishment.

However

, despite the remarkable flaw, the theory is more reasonable than the

opinion

that there exist some people born with criminal impulses.

This

opinion

has always been bound with racialism

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and served for suppression against particular racial groups. For illustration, even after the abolition of slavery, the government of South Africa claimed that blacks were predisposed to commit

crimes

and conducted long-term segregation. In modern society,

although

it is inconceivable that anyone dares to blatantly combine the so-called "criminal nature" with racialism,

this

opinion

has found many new combination targets,

such

as social class, nationality, or sexual orientation, which still pose a massive threat to society. In summary,

although

the

opinion

that certain circumstances have to be accountable for some

crimes

could make criminals escape deserved punishment, it is still more reasonable than the claim that there are some individuals born as criminals, which possesses the potential to justify suppression against certain groups.

Submitted by hx88375757 on Fri Nov 01 2024

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task achievement

Try to expand on the examples with more details or by explaining their relevance more explicitly. This will strengthen your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that every paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is logically structured, a few more connecting words and phrases could enhance the flow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction succinctly outlines the essay's focus, setting up the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear stance and supports it with relevant examples.

task achievement

The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing balance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think most crime is the result of circumstances e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people think that in the mordern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples decding not to have children.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

In recent years there has been a considerable rise in crime committed by young people in large cities. What has caused this? What solution can you suggest?