Some people think most crime is the result of circumstances e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Currently, people are debating whether
crimes
are the result of circumstances or criminals' nature. In my view, both of them are partial, but I am inclined towards the former since it at least accounts for a part of
crimes
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
has been a consensus among legal practitioners that abnormal upbringing is partly responsible for delinquencies or
crimes
.
Although
this
perspective is reasonable in considering individuals as the product of interaction between circumstances and selfhood, the predicament of applying
this
understanding to judicial practice is that it is hard to determine the extent to which a particular condition leads to a crime.
For example
, in the case of Simpson killing his wife, his counsel repeatedly implied that the pervasive prejudice against blacks in the US at the time contributed to the abhorrent crime, and
hence
the court ought to mitigate the punishment. In light of
this
, the essay can only partly accept
this
theory, as it is easily utilised to justify the claim that there is no criminal, only a terrible society,
therefore
every criminal can be exempted from punishment.
However
, despite the remarkable flaw, the theory is more reasonable than the
opinion
that there exist some people born with criminal impulses.
This
opinion
has always been bound with racialism
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and served for suppression against particular racial groups. For illustration, even after the abolition of slavery, the government of South Africa claimed that blacks were predisposed to commit
crimes
and conducted long-term segregation. In modern society,
although
it is inconceivable that anyone dares to blatantly combine the so-called "criminal nature" with racialism,
this
opinion
has found many new combination targets,
such
as social class, nationality, or sexual orientation, which still pose a massive threat to society. In summary,
although
the
opinion
that certain circumstances have to be accountable for some
crimes
could make criminals escape deserved punishment, it is still more reasonable than the claim that there are some individuals born as criminals, which possesses the potential to justify suppression against certain groups.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to expand on the examples with more details or by explaining their relevance more explicitly. This will strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that every paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is logically structured, a few more connecting words and phrases could enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly outlines the essay's focus, setting up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance and supports it with relevant examples.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing balance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: