Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #aim #development #values

Economic development is a weapon used by many countries for a better standard of living ,

improves

Wrong verb form

improved

show examples

lifestyle and an enhanced infrastructure

in addition

to an increase in the employment

level

, in response many ethical values could be missed or lost in return. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of

this

proposal and demonstrate why its proponents are correct. In

Regards

Fix the agreement mistake

Regard

show examples

to the benefits, striving to elevate the economic

level

of a country will lead to better societal and health

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

show examples

render

Correct word choice

and render

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more employment opportunities to the community that will

therefore

increase the living

level

and the

overall

income.

For Example

, Norway

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a highly efficient and strong social security system which

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

better chances of work,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

advanced infrastructure and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

effective and high-quality health care.

On the other hand

Add a comma

show examples

this

expansion can lead to inequality, where the income

level

of one person can be relatively higher than another, which may lead to crime and mental health issues.

In addition

to losing the ethical values and the traditional rituals that are frequently abandoned as nations grow more industrialized.

For example

, the increased number of crimes in

Correct article usage

the US

show examples

besides

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

severe mental disorders and psychological issues,

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

discrimination and the high standard of living. In conclusion, no one can deny the benefits and the advantages of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic progress they are immense and immeasurable and

thus

the disadvantages can be minimized or at least

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

monitored through

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

, by reaching a balance between

this

growth and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social values.

Submitted by Mido on Sat Nov 02 2024

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Task Response

The essay presents a clear stance and addresses the main aspects of the task. However, consider expanding on your points with more detailed explanations and examples to thoroughly cover the range of the task.

Task Response

Ensure that examples provided directly support the main points. For instance, the example of Norway's social security system is supportive, but more detailed and broader examples can enhance relevance.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the coherence by using more varied linking words and phrases to show contrasts and comparisons. This will make the transitions between ideas smoother.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, but try to keep paragraphs more focused. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a concise view of the writer's stance on the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

A conclusion is present and summarizes the key arguments, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Task Achievement

The essay contains relevant examples that relate to the topic, showing an understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
economic development
quality of life
infrastructure
healthcare
education
job opportunities
unemployment
poverty
technological advancements
innovation
traditional cultural values
social bonds
material wealth
consumerism
social inequality
environmental conservation
wealth gap
vulnerable groups

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Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

In a public-funded health care system people who are willing to pay for the best and fastest treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some parents believe that their children should do extra-curricular activities after school. Others say in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives, compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people's memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?