Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.
Economic development is a weapon used by many countries for a better standard of living ,
improves
lifestyle and an enhanced infrastructure Wrong verb form
improved
in addition
to an increase in the employment level
, in response many ethical values could be missed or lost in return. In this
essay
we will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of Add a comma
essay,
this
proposal and demonstrate why its proponents are correct.
In Regards
to the benefits, striving to elevate the economic Fix the agreement mistake
Regard
level
of a country will lead to better societal and health standard
, Fix the agreement mistake
standards
render
more employment opportunities to the community that will Correct word choice
and render
therefore
increase the living level
and the overall
income. For Example
, Norway have
a highly efficient and strong social security system which Change the verb form
has
offer
better chances of work, Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
an
advanced infrastructure and Remove the article
apply
an
effective and high-quality health care.
Remove the article
apply
On the other hand
Add a comma
,
this
expansion can lead to inequality, where the income level
of one person can be relatively higher than another, which may lead to crime and mental health issues. In addition
to losing the ethical values and the traditional rituals that are frequently abandoned as nations grow more industrialized. For example
, the increased number of crimes in US
Correct article usage
the US
besides
to
Change preposition
apply
the
severe mental disorders and psychological issues, Correct article usage
apply
that
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
the
discrimination and the high standard of living.
In conclusion, no one can deny the benefits and the advantages of Correct article usage
apply
the
economic progress they are immense and immeasurable and Correct article usage
apply
thus
the disadvantages can be minimized or at least being
monitored through Unnecessary verb
apply
government
, by reaching a balance between Correct article usage
the government
this
growth and the
social values.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by Mido on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear stance and addresses the main aspects of the task. However, consider expanding on your points with more detailed explanations and examples to thoroughly cover the range of the task.
Task Response
Ensure that examples provided directly support the main points. For instance, the example of Norway's social security system is supportive, but more detailed and broader examples can enhance relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the coherence by using more varied linking words and phrases to show contrasts and comparisons. This will make the transitions between ideas smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, but try to keep paragraphs more focused. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a concise view of the writer's stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
A conclusion is present and summarizes the key arguments, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that relate to the topic, showing an understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.