It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that governments must decide how to allocate limited public funds within
healthcare
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systems. Some people argue that it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle to prevent illness, rather than on treating those who are already sick.
Although
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some may disagree with
this
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view, I partly support it
due to
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several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that investing in prevention can reduce long-term
healthcare
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costs and improve
overall
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public health. To illustrate, campaigns promoting balanced diets, regular exercise, and anti-smoking initiatives can lower the incidence of chronic diseases.
For instance
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, preventing conditions
such
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as diabetes or heart disease may reduce the burden on hospitals and allow
healthcare
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systems to operate more efficiently, benefiting society as a whole. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
treatment
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services remain essential and cannot be neglected. To clarify, many illnesses occur regardless of preventive measures, and people who are already ill require immediate medical care.
For example
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, patients with serious infections, injuries, or genetic conditions depend on hospitals and medical
treatment
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to survive. If governments focus only on prevention, vulnerable individuals may suffer
due to
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inadequate
treatment
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facilities. To recapitulate, it is evident that spending on healthy lifestyle promotion can reduce disease and
healthcare
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costs,
while
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treatment
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services are necessary to protect those who are already ill.
Therefore
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, I believe that prevention should receive greater emphasis in public spending, but it must be balanced with sufficient investment in medical
treatment
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to ensure a fair and effective
healthcare
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system.

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task response
You give a clear view and tie in both sides. To score higher, state your main point in the first paragraph and give a short plan in the intro.
coherence
coherence
Some long sentences can be broken into smaller ones. This keeps errors down and makes your meaning clear.
advancement
Add a few more exact examples or numbers to back up the point about cost and health impact.
strength
Balanced view with clear plan
strength
Good use of examples to back points
strength
Clear essay frame (intro, body, conclusion)
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
What to do next:
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