Some people believe that children should stay in school until the age of 18. Others suggest that educating till the age of 14 year is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
There is no denying the fact that completing their schooling is a significant thing to be a good member of our society.
While
it is a commonly held belief that kids
should stay in school
until they complete the age
of 18, there is also
an argument that other people suggesting they finish education till the age
of 14 is sufficient.
On the one hand, the majority of people used to finishing kids
their school
in 18 years
. In other words
, the age
of maturity is 18 years
so, it is obvious to end their school
at 18 years
and start a university with the clean brains and far thoughts of teenagers. In addition
, the governments have made strict rules and regulations to ensure their kids
are finishing school
at 18 years
old. For example
, if they were finished before maturity age
,perhaps they will not be aware of the circumstances of living.
On the other hand
, others may have a different view of their kids
finishing in 14 years
. It is also
possible to say that, not all children have the same brain , therefore
parents are confident in their kids
ability to learn faster and earlier . Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
Moreover
, recently, the new generation has become brilliant and particularly talented in early childhood , so they do not need to be 18 years
old to finish. For instance
, if they finish in 14 years
, they will have more time to complete their higher education at 20 years
old and that gives them more time to try new things.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that it is beneficial to finish their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
school
by the age
of 14 years
is sufficient for them and provides them with a considerable degree at an early age
.Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next and that your arguments build upon one another without repetition.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Your argument could be strengthened with real-life examples, data, or studies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in creating a structured discussion.
Task Achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument effectively, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
Task Achievement
The conclusion reflects a personal opinion, which is important in discussing an argument-based essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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