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Writing Samples
Band 8

Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should therefore expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?Question: should pay medical treatment or not? Should smokers expect to pay more than non-smokers for medical treatment?

#smokers #health #choice #smoke #dangers #treatment #non-smokers
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It is widely believed that since people who smoke regularly are aware of the consequent diseases, they have to be fined financially by paying more than non-smokers when they get sick. I strongly agree with
this
 notion, and in the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons why I argue it has to be done. On the one hand, it can be so expensive for governments to spend money on treating sick smokers who suffer from more and more diseases as they age. It's the responsibility of the authorities to prioritize how to use their resources, and make an effort to consume them in more essential issues to improve their country in important aspects like sports or art, rather than wasting the finances for curing people who have not been responsible enough, and even failed to take care of themselves. If a person is not capable of looking after their own health, they are definitely useless for their community as well.
On the other hand
, paying more money can act as a hindrance, and stop individuals from smoking. If people who smoke know they are not supported by the government, they think twice before smoking or their families might put them under pressure, causing them to quit smoking. It can
also
 be a reward for the community members who choose not to smoke.
This
 way, the number of smokers will absolutely diminish, resulting in a healthier nation which is undoubtedly every government's priority. In conclusion, every individual who selects smoking in spite of being aware of what might happen to them, must accept and be ready to pay for the wrong habit that has caused the illness.
Therefore
, it is a proper decision to oblige them to pay more money when sick.
Submitted by faranakasadzadian on

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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument. Providing statistical data or real-world instances can make your essay more convincing.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. This will help in maintaining the clarity of the arguments presented.
coherence
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, providing a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
Clear arguments are made about the cost of healthcare for smokers and the government's role in resource allocation.
coherence cohesion
The writing flows logically, with progression from one idea to the next being smooth and coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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