IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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There is an increase in
homelessness
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 in many big
cities
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 around the globe. I think that the high unemployment and housing affordability are the main drivers of
this
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 problem and suggest the improvement in employment opportunities and strict housing regulations as the most viable solutions. The main causes of
homelessness
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 in major
cities
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 are unemployment and housing affordability. On the one hand, decent, stable jobs are important to support
people
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's ability to purchase necessary goods to live their lives, including
houses
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.
On the other hand
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, there is an ongoing trend that shows the price of
houses
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 in big
cities
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 is not compatible with the
people
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's ability to purchase.
Therefore
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, these
problems
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 intertwine and create
homelessness
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problems
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 in many
cities
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.
For example
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, in many
cities
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 in Indonesia, the increase in housing prices greatly surpasses the minimum wage's growth in the
last
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 20 years. Solutions to these
problems
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 are new job opportunities and more strict housing laws. To absorb many unemployed into the workforce, states must implement various strategies to create quality jobs that allow
people
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 to receive decent salaries.
Moreover
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,
this
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 effort must be complemented with more strict housing laws to regulate the housing market by making sure the prices of
houses
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 are compatible with the economic conditions of the
people
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.
For instance
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, recent studies show that after implementing strict rent laws, many big
cities
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 in Europe saw a decrease in
homelessness
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due to
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 the lower price of housing in their
cities
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. In conclusion, the main
problems
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 with the increase in
homelessness
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 are the
people
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's inability to get jobs and more expensive
houses
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. These can be solved through state intervention in job creation and strict housing regulations.

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task achievement
Expand on examples with more specificity, particularly outside Indonesia.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, it could benefit from linking words to enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction outlining the main causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Solid structure with paragraphing that clarifies the task response.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples support the main points effectively.
task achievement
Comprehensive response addressing both the causes and solutions of homelessness.
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