It is better for people to be unemployed than to be employed in jobs they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Being employed in a

job

is a crucial part of anyone's adult life, it is a journey that everyone goes through. In my opinion, it is important for a person to get a

job

even if they do not like it, especially at the beginning of their career because getting experience will open up a lot of prospects.

However

, I do not agree with that statement fully.

Furthermore

, getting a

job

that you do not like at the beginning of your career is totally normal, you might find it tedious at the start but the more you explore and try to have fun with it the more your eyes will be open for far greater opportunities.

In addition

to that, you might even do a whole career shift and you would be successful at it. Keeping an open mind is key.

On the other hand

, there's a specific degree of tolerance to any

job

you do not enjoy, you might find it hard not just because of the boring daily tasks but rather the toxic people that work there and in

this

case, it is a valid reason.

For example

, if the

job

has an incompetent manager or a co-worker that just throws all of their daily tasks on you and overloads your work agenda,

this

scenario is not fun to come to every day and it would devastate your mental health eventually, any sane person would get burnt out quickly and quit as soon as they get the chance to. In conclusion, I think it is okay to have a

job

that you do not find joy in and still be able to come to every day, but at the same time your mental health is far more crucial than getting experience, so balancing these two things is detrimental.

Submitted by ah.000 on Fri Jul 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced response.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and finish to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal fulfillment
Unfulfilling job
Mental health
Physical health
Financial stability
Job security
Societal norms
Career choices
Pursuing passion
Practicality
Personal growth
Skill development
Self-esteem
Social status
Work-life balance

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Fully explain your ideas

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Nowadays many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games? What can be done about this problem?