Some say the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions

These days, a growing number of

people

are facing a dilemma over the goal of

education

. Some

people

believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

knowledge could make

individuals

donate more to the public,

while

others think that

education

would let

people

access their dreams more easily. On the one hand, when a person receives an

education

then

that person has the duty to give back to

society

. To be specific, receiving a qualification of

education

enables

individuals

to have the necessary skills and knowledge to enter the career place

that is

essential for the basic functioning of

society

. One living proof is that the doctors and teachers, both directly contribute to the well-being and development of the community through their specialized training.

Additionally

, a

society

with a high level of

education

could be optimistic, as

people

know how to take responsibility for their jobs.

On the other hand

, as the institution receives money from the consumers, they have to cater to the requests of clients. And when

individuals

are able to pursue their own goals, they tend to be more motivated and usually bring some extra benefits to the public. As it does in the case of

people

who aim to set up a company, they have to know how to run a company clearly. And

this

is on the basis of

education

. The establishment of the new company not only generates employment opportunities for workers but

also

concurrently contributes to societal welfare. In conclusion, I believe that

education

should ideally find a middle ground between letting

individuals

be valuable to

society

and helping them fulfil their personal ambitions.

Submitted by 2575444164 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

To improve your essay, consider providing more specific examples and expanding on your arguments. Also, make sure your sentences flow smoothly by varying sentence length and structure.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using more transitional phrases and conjunctions. This will help your ideas flow more naturally.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both views of the topic and provides a balanced opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?