Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion
A lot of
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
in
the Change preposition
around
globle
expenditure huge Correct your spelling
global
globe
money
on sculputers
, which assist Correct your spelling
sculptures
to enhance
the quality of Change preposition
in enhancing
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
lifes
, Correct your spelling
lives
while
other court
must expenses income on other activities. Personally, l strongly advocate the former view. In Change the wording
another court
other courts
this
essay, l will discuss both views using examples from the Sultan Qaboos University to demonstrate the sides, and, then
, l will share my personal view.
There are a lot of reasons why Spending of
Change preposition
apply
money
on other things. To explain, some people
do
not Verb problem
are
interest
Replace the word
interested
to
Change preposition
in
art
, however
they hooked
Add a missing verb
are hooked
Change preposition
on another
another activities
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
such
as sport
or matches. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
For example
, a
study conducted at Sultan Qaboos University only 99% of students expenditure a big income to watch a football Change preposition
in a
instaduim
. Correct your spelling
stadium
Thus
, it is exclusively the people
into another thing rather than art
.
Secondly
, government
should Add an article
the government
have to
spend Verb problem
apply
money
to the
encourage Correct article usage
apply
of
unemployment to get Change preposition
apply
career
. To reflect, many Add an article
a career
people
have
Add a missing verb
do have
not
career must to Correct your spelling
no
government
Correct article usage
the government
get
and open job opportunities. For Verb problem
apply
an
instance, a recent scientific by Sultan Qaboos University shows that Correct article usage
apply
the
100% of Correct article usage
apply
unemployment
pay work in Replace the word
unemployed
this
activity. Therefore
, governments should have mintain
the Wrong verb form
maintain
people
who not
have Add a missing verb
do not
occupation
.
In conclusion, it is thought that spending Add an article
an occupation
the occupation
money
on other things rather than art
, wherease
expenses a large amount of Correct your spelling
whereas
money
on art
. I agree that the court spend
of revenue to benefit things for nations. There are two clear Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
reason
for Change to a plural noun
reasons
this
. It is also
of cause
first one, not all citizens keen on Add an article
the cause
art
and sculputers
,and, second one Correct your spelling
sculptures
sculpture
government
must have to improve and develop to sure
a good Correct your spelling
ensure
people
's life.Submitted by Loody on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clear, coherent structure for your essay that guides the reader through your points smoothly. Consider breaking down large ideas into smaller, well-linked paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Enhance your task response by explicitly stating your position in a clearer manner and stick to it throughout the essay. Make sure each paragraph adequately supports your thesis statement.
task achievement
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas. This will help avoid repetition and improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction which sets up the context and your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You support your opinions with examples, like the study from Sultan Qaboos University, which adds credibility to your arguments.
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