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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past, when students dia a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad what are the advantages and disadvantages of this developments You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience, and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Students
 have numerous options to continue their studies in universities, and with greater relations and development amongst the
countries
, the opportunity of studying abroad is wide open for them.
However
,
this
 opportunity can be impactful for both the
students
 and the
countries
, considering the benefits and drawbacks that might happen. People would strive vigorously to obtain a chance to study abroad because they seek vast knowledge in other
countries
 that are significantly different and deeper.
This
 can help their
homelands
 by implementing the knowledge and practical experiences that they have got from studying abroad, which contribute to their
homelands
’ improvements in the future.
For example
, some
students
 who have completed their studies will return to their
countries
 and start creating innovations to build their
homelands
 with more enhanced technologies
such
 as machinery for harvesting and irrigation, which are useful for the farmers to increase yields.
Nevertheless
, there are some
students
 who tend to remain there and work for other
countries
 rather than bring new impacts to their
homelands
 because they become more adapted and carry out living there.
Thus
, it can be a downside for their
homelands
 because they are the ones that provide a bigger chance for the
students
 to hope that a future development can be obtained. To exemplify, the
students
 in Indonesia who get a chance in LDPD scholarships, insist on settling and getting a job there,
although
 they are required to return by the governments since they have signed the agreement before going abroad. To summarize, studying abroad can be a valuable experience for most people, which can
also
 provide a greater improvement for the country. Despite the benefits, the drawbacks can be quite impactful and result in adverse effects for the
homelands
 since the
students
 refuse to return and make
an
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advancement.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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Task Response
Ensure all parts of the task are fully addressed. While you've covered many aspects, consider developing counterarguments to achieve a more comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical connections between ideas to enhance coherence. Consider linking paragraphs with transitional phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion neatly summarizes the main points.
Task Response
The essay contains relevant examples that illustrate the points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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