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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph demonstrates the
points
Use synonyms
 scored by three teams( A,
B
Use synonyms
 and
C
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) during various
seasons
Use synonyms
encompossing
Correct your spelling
encompassing
 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005. Units are measured in
points
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Team
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B
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 won the activity with a large margin
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the given period. Significantly,
Team
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C
Use synonyms
 garnered
comparatively
Correct article usage
a comparatively
show examples
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
show examples
 score. Noticeably,
Team
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 A
was securing
Wrong verb form
secured
show examples
third
Use synonyms
position
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 in the initial years
jumped
Correct word choice
and jumped
show examples
 to second
position
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 in the final two
seasons
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, in 2002,
Team
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B
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became
Verb problem
came
show examples
 first by earning 82
points
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whereas
Linking Words
Team
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C
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 and
Team
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 A took second and
third
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 by 10 and 5
points
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, respectively. In
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another season of 2003,
Team
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B
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 scored the highest point of 60 followed by
Team
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C
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 and
Team
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 A by 15 and 11
points
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. In every
Use synonyms
seasons
Change to a singular noun
season
show examples
,
Team
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B
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 secured its first place by 43
points
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 in 2004 and 55 pts in 2005.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Team
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 A exhibited an upward trend by jumping from
third
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position
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 to second
position
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 by 35
points
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 and 8
points
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 in 2004 and 2005.
However
Linking Words
,
Team
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C
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 fell to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
Use synonyms
 place by 12
points
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 and 5
points
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 two
seasons
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words points, b, c, seasons, team, third, position with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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