We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Since helping everyone and solving all
problems
are unattainable, it is suggested to solely focus on issues
within one
's community. Although
I acknowledge the reasons based on which this
mentality is formed, I do not reckon this
would be the ideal approach.
On the one
hand, there are several reasons why people do not have a fondness to allocate their financial resources to global issues
. Firstly
, people pay taxes and collaborate in the country's revenue generation; therefore
, they are entitled to profit from these financial resources. This
means that governments have to prioritize national problems
over international ones. Secondly
, just because these actions are labelled global help, does not mean to say nations are exclusively providing resources to tackle pressing issues
. The history of slavery is an exemplary example of nations that were supposed to help other people but exploited this
chance and swindled local societies with inadequate money to work in their favour.
However
, working with other communities can bring about significant benefits to both individuals and the whole globe. Regarding individuals, by traveling
to other countries as a means of cooperating in community services, Change the spelling
travelling
one
can learn about other cultures, customs, and heritage. This
can help them to cement a meaningful relationship with different walks of life, ultimately cultivating the seed of empathy among societies. Moreover
, local problems
usually go a long way toward causing a global issue. Therefore
, it is better to provide sources from all around the world in order to prevent these setbacks from spiraling
up. Take rainforests Change the spelling
spiralling
for example
, lodging and overgrazing, which caused the extinction of these vegetation, were not once considered to have detrimental effects on other communities. However
, nowadays, constant concern about pollution and Eath's heightened temperature is proven to have a positive correlation with these previous exploitations.
In conclusion, while
focusing on the problems
of one
's nation may seem more appealing at first,
the long-term consequences of problems
necessitate individuals to work collectively, and require a global collaboration for issues
to be addressed.Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clearer linkage between ideas and paragraphs to enhance logical flow and reader comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the conclusion to reiterate and emphasize your core arguments, ensuring a strong closing statement.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question prompt are fully addressed for a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-organized structure with clear paragraphing and relevant topic sentences.
task achievement
Excellent usage of relevant examples like the issue of slavery and deforestation, which strongly support the main points.