It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future

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Some individuals think that

people

Use synonyms

of all ages should save

money

Use synonyms

for the future. From

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will agree to save

money

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to use later which can make

people

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happiness

Replace the word

happy

show examples

with entertainment and help when they broke.

To begin

Linking Words

with, keeping

money

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in to bank is very helpful for the future

that

Correct word choice

because

show examples

these

Change the determiner

this money

show examples

money

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will help individuals when they start new

jobs

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and not

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

enough

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

even kids should save

money

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that parents or earn in

jobs

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give.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in scientific

explanation

Add a comma

explanation,

show examples

is show

Change the verb form

is shown

is showing

show examples

that having

money

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can make

people

Use synonyms

more confident having less

money

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which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can make them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

jobs

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or in business.

Therefore

Linking Words

, even though

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rich

people

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such

Linking Words

as famous basketball players,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

some times

Correct your spelling

sometimes

show examples

get broke sometimes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it is important to keep

Use synonyms

money

Add an article

the money

show examples

so that

people

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can live without worries.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there are some risks to

borrow

Wrong verb form

borrowing

show examples

money

Use synonyms

from

people

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that some

people

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scam or increase to

very

Add an article

the very

show examples

expensive amount.

For example

Linking Words

, my

friend

Change noun form

friend's

show examples

family

borrow

Wrong verb form

borrowed

show examples

money

Use synonyms

from someone and they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

to pay much more than what they expected

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. From my own experience,

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

and satisfaction made me greatly improve

my self

Correct your spelling

myself

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, during

test

Fix the agreement mistake

tests

show examples

or in sports and so on.

This

Linking Words

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

opinion as rich

people

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that when they have enough

money

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they feel

Use synonyms

happiness

Replace the word

happy

show examples

However

Linking Words

truth

Correct article usage

the truth

show examples

is that

happiness

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Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can not

buy

Wrong verb form

be bought

show examples

with love

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

even though

people

Use synonyms

are not rich they can still have

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

same as rich

people

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Therefore

Linking Words

, saving

money

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is much

Change the word

apply

show examples

better than using

money

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for

happiness

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and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

showing

off

Correct pronoun usage

it off

show examples

to the

people

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and being proud.

To sum up

Linking Words

, there are many important factors to save

money

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Such

Linking Words

as, it is helpful when

people

Use synonyms

get broke or helpful for individuals's first time

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a jobs

show examples

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I agree to save

money

Use synonyms

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

later use.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Mon Nov 04 2024

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task achievement

The essay responds to the task adequately by discussing why it is important for everyone to save money for the future. However, it could be improved by providing a more comprehensive discussion of both sides of the argument, such as considering the potential downsides or challenges of saving money for younger people.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are generally clear, but the essay could benefit from tighter organization and clearer topic sentences to improve the logical flow between points.

task achievement

Include more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points effectively and substantiate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction presents a clear position on the topic, making it evident that the author agrees with the statement.

coherence cohesion

The essay concludes with a reflection on the importance of saving money, thereby reinforcing the argument presented.

task achievement

The essay includes a personal example, which adds a personal touch and relatability to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion, should be done about it?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories, and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that exams are an unappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.