Some children nowadays take sports seriously while others play sports in their free time. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Sports
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activities are common among
children
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. Some
children
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engage in
sports
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seriously,
while
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others participate in
sports
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as a leisure activity. In my view, it is beneficial if more
children
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take
sports
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seriously. On the one hand, many parents encourage their
children
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to participate in various
sports
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,
such
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as volleyball, swimming, and tennis. Often, these
children
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attend classes on weekends or only once a month, which may lead them to see
sports
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as a casual activity rather than something serious.
Additionally
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, some
children
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do not have the opportunity to attend classes or join teams. These
children
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play football or basketball with friends in their
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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or at a park, and they may not consider becoming professional athletes.
As a result
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, they miss out on some potential benefits of engaging in
sports
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more seriously.
On the other hand
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,
children
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who take
sports
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seriously and focus on a specific sport gain many advantages. In my view, engaging in a sport regularly contributes to
children
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’s personal development and physical health.
Additionally
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, they learn discipline from an early age, which can be valuable throughout life. By taking
sports
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seriously, they may have the opportunity to become professional athletes. Even if they do not, they are likely to be more successful in their careers because they understand the importance of discipline and commitment. In conclusion, I believe that more
children
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should engage in
sports
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seriously. Parents should support their
children
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in joining
sports
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activities that interest them. Playing
sports
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regularly and with dedication benefits
children
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in many ways.
Submitted by aslikaratepe00 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance coherence and the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.
complete response
You've addressed the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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