A number of people are moving from rural area to city’s. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, the majority of
people
are going to the city
to establish their careers and make connections with other people
. This
can be seen as a positive advancement however
, I believe it is a negative development and I will discuss in this
essay why it is.
More cities have been trying to further
develop their progress and reach in the last
few years. With this
development, more jobs and opportunities have opened for everyone. This
led people
to migrate from rural areas to the city
to either start their careers or to make connections. This
migration has resulted in a denser place to live in. For example
, in South Korea, their main city
Seoul, is a bustling place for work and entertainment but living in Seoul has been difficult for many as housing is either expensive or hard to find.
Additionally
, since people
are moving to cities for work and to establish their lives, this
has resulted in the elderly being left behind in their respective towns. With the growing populace being established in urban areas, this
can negatively impact a town
's population, considering we already have an increasing elderly population. For example
, a town
in the Philippines has a decreasing population as there are more elderly people
living in it. This
can also
stunt a rural area's growth in further
developing the place as there are fewer opportunities for people
to stay and work.
In conclusion, living in a city
has a lot of benefits. However
, as people
move from a town
to a city
, this
can negatively impact people
's housing matters as well as
affect the town
Submitted by estillorericamae on
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Introduction Development
Try to develop your introduction by clearly stating whether you see the trend as positive or negative. Offering a thesis statement can help provide a clear direction for your essay.
Conclusion Enhancement
In the conclusion, aim to succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position to reinforce your argument. This will help in making your conclusion stronger and more impactful.
Language Improvement
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay. This can make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Supporting Evidence
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will add credibility to your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Logical Structure
You have logically structured your essay, presenting a clear progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph.
Paragraph Organization
You effectively use paragraphs to separate and organize your ideas, which aids in the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, such as South Korea and the Philippines, helps to illustrate your points and make them more relatable to the reader.