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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram belonshows part of the nitrogen cycle in Earth.The black arrows represent the movement of nitrogen as it is changed.

The diagram belonshows part of the nitrogen cycle in Earth.The black arrows represent the movement of nitrogen as it is changed.
The figure illustrates the
nitrogen
Use synonyms
 cycle on Earth showing how the
nitrogen
Use synonyms
 has changed into various forms.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that the diagram starts with the
nitrogen
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 converts to
nitrogen
Use synonyms
 compounds and
finally
Linking Words
,turns back to the
gas
Use synonyms
 form. Looking at the top of
this
Linking Words
 diagram,the air in the atmosphere
is consisted
Change to the active voice
consists
has consisted
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 of
nitrogen
Use synonyms
 in the form of
gas
Use synonyms
 which can be written as N2.
The
Correct article usage
Nitrogen
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nitrogen
Use synonyms
gas
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 can be transformed into
nitrogen
Use synonyms
 compounds in two ways.The first way is
taking
Wrong verb form
taken
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 up by plants which are consumed by animals.After the digestion process,animal waste comes out along those
animals
Change noun form
animals'
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feces
Change the spelling
faeces
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 and backs into
soil
Add an article
the soil
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.Another way is the
nitrogen
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 going directly into
soil
Add an article
the soil
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.Once those are in the soil,they will be converted by bacteria into compounds.
Finally
Linking Words
,in order to change back into
gas
Use synonyms
,other types of plants and bacteria take part in
this
Linking Words
 transformation.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words nitrogen, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changed" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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