Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore, they shoud be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school . To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is a common belief among
people
about the importance of advertisements in making people
buy goods. While
some tend to spend a large amount of money on unnecessary things, some ads
can have a significant impact on making others buy recent products that improve their lives
. This
essay will argue that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives
.
Firstly
, with the rapid development of new helpful devices nowadays, there is an urgent need for advertisements that help simplify and understand these products. Moreover
,nobody could deny the impact of medical conditions on our lives
. With the increased number of undiagnosed hypertension cases worldwide which lead to death, a blood pressure monitor was invented to help diagnose these cases early at home. But this
invention could be considered useless if no ads
were shown on TV every day explaining how serious this
problem is and having these technologies in every place is essential to
decrease their incidence.
Another point worth mentioning is the influence of short ads
that pop up during our browsing of social media applications. For example
, during my free time, I browse my Instagram app to see my friends’ stories, and then
I see an ad talking about a new charging cable that decrease
the charging time by 20 minutes and that would benefit many Change the verb form
decreases
people
to reduce their electricity bills and save some money. Therefore
, I believe without the power of advertisement people
would be unaware of such
great devices.
Considering the matter in depth, it seems reasonable to say that if companies try to use ads
in the correct way, it will help societies purchase important goods that have a helpful effect on our lives
Submitted by saif_omar98 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, you can work on making more explicit connections between your ideas. For example, linking the advertisements of medical devices with societal health impacts more directly will give your arguments additional clarity.
task achievement
While your response is on topic, try to reiterate and synthesize the main ideas in your conclusion for an even stronger finish. This will assert your position more effectively and leave a lasting impression.
task achievement
You could strengthen your essay by including more diverse examples across different sectors or aspects of life to illustrate the broad impacts of advertisements. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
You have successfully covered the main points, discussing both the benefits of advertisements and how they can introduce new useful products to consumers.
task achievement
The examples you provided, such as the impact of advertisements on medical devices and technological gadgets, are relevant and help in supporting your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.