IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that people have the right to university education,and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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University
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education
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 is important because it helps
people
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 get better jobs,
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
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 their goals and
improving
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improve
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 their future. Some
people
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 think that
university
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 should be free for
everyone
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, no matter how much
money
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 they have. I partly agree with
this
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 opinion because
education
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 should be available to
everyone
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 who wants a degree, but I do not think it should be free for all
students
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. On the one hand, free
university
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education
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 can help many
students
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 from poor families. Some young
people
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 are intelligent and hardworking, but they cannot study because tuition fees are too expensive. If the
government
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 pays for their
education
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, they will have a better chance
to succeed
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of succeeding
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.
Furthermore
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, in the
future
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future,
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 they can become great doctors, teachers or engineers and help their country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, making
university
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 free for
everyone
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 would cost the
government
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 a lot of
money
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. It means that there is less
money
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 for hospitals, roads or other important services.
In addition
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, some
students
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 may not study seriously if they do not have to pay for their
education
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, public
money
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 may be wasted. I believe that
students
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 who cannot afford
university
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 should receive financial support.
However
Linking Words
,
students
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 from rich families can pay for their
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students
Check wording
education
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.
This
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 is a fairer way to use
government
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money
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 and still give
everyone
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 a chance to study. In conclusion, I think
university
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education
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 should be available to all
people
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, but it should not always be free for
everyone
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. The
government
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 should help
students
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 who need financial support
instead
Linking Words
 of paying for every student.

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task response
Write more about why your view is only partly yes. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Add one short real or clear example to support your ideas.
task response
Be careful with one sentence: 'pay for their students' should be 'pay for their studies'. Small word errors can make meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a smooth way. You do this well, but do not repeat the same pattern too much.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
You can make the second body paragraph stronger by linking the cost to the idea of fair use of public money.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your ideas are easy to understand and stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words well, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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