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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#world #adults #work #children #study #home #computer #technology #development
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In
this
 essay, I want to give the positive and negative aspects of working or studying at the house. In the beginning, The world is every day changing, people are trying to adapt to new work and life standards.
Therefore
, working at the house become popular
due to
 its advantages. In my opinion, working or studying at the residence has too many positive sides.
Thus
, it is a positive development because of more flexibility, time-saving and economic convenience.
Firstly
, being engaged or studying at the residence is more flexible. The workers or students can regulate their own days.
Additionally
, they can create a great work or study atmosphere.
Moreover
,
according to
 research, creating a person’s own practice environment improves learning or working desire.
Further
, because the workers and students arrange the days, the flexibility will give them more chances to spend their hours with their family, pets, hobbies et cetera.
Secondly
,
due to
 engagement or learning at home, people can save more days. The workers and learners are engaged and learn at home
therefore
 they will save time
due to
 not spending time with transportation, preparation and other things that cause spending hours to go to an office or a school.
Thirdly
, practising or examining at the house is accessible and it is economically viable. The reason is, that people don't have to give money for transportation, lunch and other issues. So, employees and learners can save money. In conclusion, Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. So, it is a positive development. They keys
such
, more flexibility, time-saving and economic convenience.
Submitted by faranakasadzadian on

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, identifying it as a positive development. However, more specific examples and evidence could enhance clarity and persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally follows a logical structure with identifiable paragraphs, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to improve flow.
task achievement
Consider providing more balanced views, acknowledging potential negatives to address the prompt's full scope.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete structure.
task achievement
The main points are well-identified and explained, focusing on flexibility, time-saving, and economic convenience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • work-life balance
  • carbon footprint
  • digital literacy
  • virtual classrooms
  • flexible schedules
  • teleconferencing
  • distraction-free environment
  • mental well-being
  • productivity
  • collaboration
  • isolation
  • environmental sustainability
  • financial savings
  • commuting costs
  • burnout
  • hands-on experience
  • virtual interactions
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