Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on T.V and reading them on newspaper. What is the reason? Is it a good or bad idea.

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In the modern era, huge
crowd
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attracts toward personalities from the film industry. Many individuals are impressed by their work on t.v, so they like to know more about them. There could be numerous reasons, but I will discuss a few of them. In
further
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paragraphs, I will present both perspectives on whether the influence of personalities on a human
crowd
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is good or bad.
To begin
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with, it is quite normal that people love to follow those individuals whom they admire most. Some like to copy the way famous personalities dress up, or the way they talk and deal with others in a
crowd
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.
For instance
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, the famous football player Ronaldo is most famous in a huge
crowd
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of nations because of his politeness toward his football fans. The general public thinks he is a practical and realistic personality, so they want to follow him and like to post different videos on social media, so the common people act like him and dress like him.
On the other hand
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, there could be a negative effect on ordinary people when they try to adopt someone they love.
For example
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, Shaha Caprio was a big fan of Angelina Julia's beauty
,
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;
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she altered her appearance through many surgeries to resemble her .
Nevertheless
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, she was unable to improve her appearance successfully.
As a result
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, individuals like extreme nature can ruin their life and health by taking
such
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measures. In conclusion, admiring or coping famous person is not bad, but taking extreme steps is not applicable for anyone, as it has a negative influence on society and on the new generation.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why people copy famous people, and then say in a clear way if this is good or bad.
task response
Give one clear main idea in each body part. Then add one simple example that fits this idea well.
task response
Your ideas are relevant, but some are not fully clear. Use short and direct sentences to explain your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic plan: start, two body parts, and end. This is good, but links between ideas can be smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Put topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Some words and examples are repeated or not easy to follow. Use simple link words like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
task response
You answered both questions, so your essay stays on topic.
task response
You gave examples to support your ideas, and this helps your message.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a full shape.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is split into clear paragraphs, so the reader can see your plan.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admiration
  • Inspiration
  • Social Status
  • Emulating
  • Lifestyles
  • Self-Identity
  • Individuality
  • Unrealistic Standards
  • Perceived Success
  • Glamorous
  • Celebrities
  • Media Influence
  • Advertisements
  • Luxury
  • Coping Mechanism
  • Self-Perception
  • Mental Health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Personal Goals
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