In some countries, people in encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their country education what are the advantageand disadvantages
Every parent has a distinctive perspective about choosing certain assets for their juveniles. There is a heated argument over the decision of the modern mother and father who favours that their kids will do any sort of work after schooling or enjoy life in travelling. In
this
essay, both the pros and cons will be discussed for this
matter.
On the one hand, this
decision of caretakers provides several benefits. Firstly
, children were able to receive practical knowledge by working with the experts in the company. Very early age, minors can gain hands-on experience that assists them in exploring more career insights in the upcoming future moreover
, this
addition of learning years has great backing on the resumes as it makes a person
stronger than others in the interviews who have less group over the skills
. Thus
, an individual can build effective problem-solving skills
, time management, and effective communication in the initial career stage of work. to illustrate, a
survey conducted by the World Employment Agency (WEA) about 70% of the pupil in America do jobs in multi-international companies before finishing their graduation ceremony.
Change preposition
in a
Secondly
, financial literacy is another advantage of this
trend. Adolescents not only earn money but also
learn to manage their expenses. In addition
, young people become more aware of budgeting skills
at this
age. Period. As this
kind of environment educates them, some valuable lessons like savings for future assets, to clear educational depth. Therefore
, these qualities seek the overall
development of an individual. Furthermore
, travelling is the best way to explore divorce,
and the cultural heritage of any country. Kids who spend time on the trips would get exposure to the unique traditions and rituals of various nations. Remove the comma
apply
This
provides excellent changes in human behaviour as social interactions make a person
open- minded, build confidence and adaptability, according to
others. So, it is only possible if a person
earns money that brings the power of self-reliance.
On the other hand
, this
change in the living styles brings some drawbacks. First is a delay in higher education. Creating gaps or postponing post-education creates Academy interruptions. Even though,
part-time learning is available, it still lacks the proper full-time classroom structural learning. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, stagnations in the courier are noticed in these jobseekers. This
entry-level job has little long-term advantage. Instead
, it only delayed career growth as a person
would not get any promotions due to
his or her law qualification. As a result
, professional growth is minimized. Additionally
, a lack of accomplishments in the ongoing work will lead to several ups and downs. The unpredictable income of these temporary jobs cannot support tour finances or others. Consequently
, people get caught in these financial drains.
Overall
, it is evident that both sides of her valid points, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore
, it is not essential to get a job offer after pursuing a master's in a specific field, as it only depends upon the child's learning skills
.Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on
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clarity simplicity
Clarify certain parts of the essay to enhance understanding. Some sentences are a bit complex and lengthy, which might obscure the main message. Simplifying these could help convey your ideas more clearly.
cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although coherence is generally maintained, there can be a stronger flow between arguments.
task response
When presenting disadvantages, clearly separate each disadvantage to maintain a balance with the advantages discussed earlier. This will ensure clarity and better alignment with the task.
task response
The essay presents a complete response to the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working or traveling after schooling.
evidence support
There are relevant examples, such as the survey by the World Employment Agency (WEA), which support the essay's arguments.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a solid framework for the essay and summarizing the main points effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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