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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A lot of people have become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives. Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages? Describe the positive and negative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.

#people #technology #role #lives #computer #age #impacts
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Technology
 is a breakthrough for great achievements that assist
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
 in many fields.
Due to
 its widespread use in our daily lives, many individuals have become reliant on machines. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of living in the digital age and give my thoughts on the subject.
First,
on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, there are a lot of benefits to using computers in different fields, from education to medicine, even to starting a small business. The Blackboard platform, a well-known university platform in the
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
 of Saudi Arabia, is one example of how we employ
technology
 in virtual learning. It allows you to submit assignments more quickly, easily, and securely. You can
also
 add distance learning resources to improve your university grade.
Secondly
,
on the other hand
, the disadvantage of depending on computers and
technology
 can wear a person out physically and mentally, which can lead to long-term problems like dry eyes from staring at computer screens or neck and back pain from prolonged laptop exposure. In my view, they offer a lot of advantages that increase our reliance on them, particularly the seeming advancements in artificial intelligence and its applications across the board, from creating a self-driving car to organizing your schedule.
Finally
,
while
technology
 offers numerous advantages in various fields,
such
 as education, medicine, and business, it can
also
 lead to physical and mental health issues.
However
, advancements in artificial intelligence and its applications,
such
 as self-driving cars and scheduling, can increase our reliance on these technologies.
Submitted by roof.al1418 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your ideas are clearly elaborated upon, providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph connects smoothly to the next, perhaps by using linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a well-rounded understanding of your viewpoint.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the use of Blackboard in education, which supports your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dependent on technology
  • digital platforms
  • instant communication
  • automation
  • advanced software solutions
  • access to information
  • educational resources
  • screen time
  • health issues
  • eye strain
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • privacy concerns
  • cybersecurity threats
  • identity theft
  • data breaches
  • overreliance
  • face-to-face social interactions
  • social skills
  • isolation
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