IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Others believe that a women’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

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The role of
women
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 in
society
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 has been a topic of debate for many years. Some believe that
women
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 should focus solely on managing the
household
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 and raising children,
while
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 others argue that they should have equal opportunities to pursue successful careers. I strongly support the idea that
women
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 should be given the same chances as men to
work
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 and excel in their professions, as
this
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 promotes gender equality, strengthens the economy, and benefits
society
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 as a whole.
Women
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, like men, have the right to choose their career paths and contribute to
society
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 beyond
household
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 duties. Denying them equal opportunities is a violation of fundamental human rights. In many countries,
women
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 have proven their ability to succeed in diverse fields, including science, business, and politics.
For example
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, leaders like Jacinda Ardern and Angela Merkel have demonstrated that
women
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 can effectively lead nations, challenging the outdated belief that their role should be limited to domestic responsibilities. Encouraging
women
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 to participate in the workforce contributes to economic development. When
women
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work
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, they increase
household
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 income, reducing financial burdens and improving the
overall
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 quality of life. Studies have shown that countries with higher female workforce participation experience stronger economic growth.
For instance
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, in Canada, government policies that support
women
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 in the workforce have led to increased productivity and a more competitive economy. Allowing
women
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 to pursue their careers sets a positive example for future generations. When young girls see successful
women
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 in different professions, they become more motivated to follow their aspirations rather than being confined by traditional expectations.
Additionally
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, working mothers often raise independent and ambitious children who understand the importance of hard
work
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 and perseverance. In conclusion,
women
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 should have the freedom to
work
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 and excel in their careers rather than being restricted to
household
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 duties. Equal opportunities promote gender equality, boost economic growth, and create a more progressive
society
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.
Instead
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 of limiting
women
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’s potential, we should support and encourage them to achieve success in all areas of life.

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coherence and cohesion
Continue to ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus and develops the main point effectively.
task achievement
Consider integrating more specific examples or evidence to strengthen some of your main points and make your argument even more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear argument with well-structured paragraphs, making it easy to follow your reasoning.
task achievement
You effectively address the prompt and provide meaningful insights into the importance of women's roles in society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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