Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
also
have various preferences about what they are interested in or not.
However
, people perceive it differently, it could be seen as a good thing as they can learn how to be wise or even in an opposite way. From my perspective, I believe giving freedom for them to choose is necessary, which will build a decisive situation for
children
to decide what would affect them. Freeing
children
to choose everything in everyday life can build them into a self-indulgent person in the future. They would be selfish and petty regarding their choices if the choices can not be accepted by others.
Moreover
, it can make them quite egoistic and have less self-awareness.
For instance
,
children
who have numerous preferences that are rejected by society would be standing up for themselves and pushing other people to acknowledge them rather than embracing other people's opinions.
In contrast
,
children
who are given the freedom to choose could be a greater individual who portrays decisive behaviour. They can be mindful of unexpected situations and have excellent analyzing skills in determining the beneficial aspects for them that need to be considered, which would be impactful for their lives.
For example
,
children
who are often taught how to make a decision, would have a wide perspective and protect themselves in dangerous or bad situations because of the analyzing and decision-making skills that they obtain. To summarize, both perspectives have different effects on
children
.
Nevertheless
, I believe giving the decisions and allowing them to think would be the best action to do in order to nurture and teach them how to possess great demeanours
such
as later in the future.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are consistently linked to the main thesis statement to improve coherence.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on the examples provided to make your points more compelling and illustrative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view of the topic, considering both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: