Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Children
also
have various preferences about what they are interested in or not. Thus
, their surroundings should be considerate and give respect to their choices
because it can affect how they perceive other people, From my perspective, I believe both giving choices
freely or becoming strict to it, is necessary. However
, I side with giving a decisive situation to children
to decide what would affect them.
Freeing children
to choose everything in everyday life can build them into a self-indulgent person in the future. They would be forceful and petty regarding their choices
if the choices
can not be accepted by others. Moreover
, it can make them quite cocky and have less self-awareness. For instance
, children
who have numerous preferences that are rejected by society would be standing for
themselves and pushing other people to acknowledge them rather than embracing other people's opinions.
Change preposition
up for
In contrast
, children
who are given several options to be chosen would be a greater individual who portrays decisive behaviour. They can be mindful of unexpected situations and have excellent analyzing skills in determining the beneficial aspects for them that need to be considered, which would be impactful for their lives. For example
, children
who are often taught how to make a decision, would have a wide perspective and protect themselves in dangers or bad situations because of the analyzing skill that they obtain.
To summarize, it is very crucial to give our children
ways to choose their preferences. Nevertheless
, I believe giving the decisions and letting them think would be the best action to do in order to nurture and teach them how to possess great demeanours later in the future.Submitted by hanalyaa29 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to ensure clarity in expressing ideas. Though the essay presents a well-rounded discussion, some sentences, like 'For instance, children who have numerous preferences that are rejected by society would be standing for themselves and pushing other people to acknowledge them rather than embracing other people's opinions,' could be simplified for better comprehension.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by clearly separating contrasting perspectives. This can help the reader follow the argument more easily.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples or elaborate on the existing ones to make the argument stronger. For example, contextualize scenarios or provide real-world comparisons to show how decision-making skills evolve.
task response
The essay offers a balanced view, acknowledging both the risks and benefits of allowing children to make their own choices.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay effectively, providing a comprehensive overview and summary of the topic.
supported main points
The examples provided, such as children developing analysis skills through decision-making, support your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.