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Writing Samples
Band 7

At the present time, the populatio nof some countries includes a relatively largge number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #populatio #nof #countries #largge #adults #people #situation
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These days, the
number
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 of young generations in
countries
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 is difficult, and we can see in some
countries
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 young
people
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 are more than the old population.
while
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 the figure of youth has demerits, Still I believe that cannot overshadow the benefits. On the
one
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 hand, the merits of a
number
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 of young
people
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 are so varied.
Firstly
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, the figure of workers in these
countries
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 is a
lot
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;
as a result
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, companies do not have any problems with employees.
Secondly
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, when the
number
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 of children in
one
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 family is a
lot
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, they can take care of their parents;
besides
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, the governments do not invest a great deal of money to establish a special place to look after them.
Thirdly
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, young generations can follow the natives of
one
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 country owing to the fact that there are a
lot
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 and in
this
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 country, the
number
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 of migrations is fewer.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 happens to have several drawbacks. On the
one
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 side, young citizens need accommodation;
consequently
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, when the
number
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 of them is a
lot
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 , a large area of the environment should be replaced by residential regions; in fact,
this
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 phenomenon has a negative effect on the surroundings. On the other side, if the industries in these
countries
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 are not active, a majority of these young
people
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 do not have careers; in fact, they do not have incomes;
thereafter
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, the rate of crime in these
countries
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 climbs.
To sum up
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, when the
number
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 of young
people
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 is more than older ones,
this
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 has a range of bad points;
however
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, they cannot eclipse the good points inasmuch as they have advantages for generations, companies, and the economy.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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relevant specific examples
For a higher band score, aim to provide two to three specific examples or data points that directly illustrate your main arguments. This will enhance your argumentation and give your essay more depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider expanding on each point with examples, reasons, or scenarios that illustrate your ideas further.
complete response
The essay provides a clear position on the topic of young versus older populations, effectively arguing that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
logical structure
Logical structure and clear paragraphs help maintain a smooth flow of ideas, with appropriate linking words such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand.'

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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