Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that social
problems
have been
increased by using mobile Unnecessary verb
apply
phones
over the past several years.I strongly agree with the said notion,mobile
Correct word choice
that mobile
phones
have caused social isolation and a sedentary lifestyle.This
essay will explore these problems
in detail.
On the one hand, the mobile phone has become an essential part of our lives as, most people
use mobile phones
as a source of communication, to connect with friends, family, and even people
around the world.For example
, Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp are widely used apps that people
utilize to make connections.In other words
, nowadays people
have limited time to make face-to-face interaction with others,and they seldom visit their relationships that's why mobile phones
are used for making video calls, or to chit-chat with friends, having no physical connections.
However
, many social problems
have been raised because of using mobile phones
such
as social isolation as well as
unhealthy lifestyles. People
have reduced kinship with others, they want to live in their own world, in addition
, they do not want anyone to interfere in their lives because of this
they have bound themselves.Thus
it leads to social isolation.secondly
, excessive use of mobile phones
have
made Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
lazy and inactive as a result
of this
they face numerous social and psychological problems
for instance
, people
who spend their time alone are more prone to depression in their lives.
To sum up
, mobile phones
have both pros and cons, spending a large amount of time using a mobile makes people
stressed and isolated and socially not productive.Submitted by madihaali8470 on
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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position more explicitly in the opening sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focus on a single idea for better clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay consists of a clear introduction and conclusion, which adds to the overall coherence.
task achievement
Main ideas are relevant and explored in detail, contributing to a solid task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas throughout the essay is smooth and helps maintain reader attention.