IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Human activities such as deforestation, industrial pollution, and overpopulation continue to damage the natural environment. Discuss the main causes of this environmental disruption and examine its effects on ecosystems and human health.

Nowadays, human activities
such
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 as cutting down forests, industrial pollution and rapid population
growth
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 are seriously harming the natural environment.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 problem and explain its effects on ecosystems and human
health
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.
Initially
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, one of the main reasons for environmental damage is the fast
growth
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 of industry and technology. In order to produce goods more quickly and cheaply, many factories have been built.
As a result
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, air and water pollution have increased
and
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, and
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 large areas of forests have been cleared to make space for industrial sites or to obtain raw materials.
Furthermore
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, another important cause is overconsumption. Many people want more products, including furniture and other goods made from natural resources, which leads to
further
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 destruction of nature.
In addition
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, overpopulation places extra pressure on the planet. As the number of people rises, there is greater demand for housing, food and energy, and
this
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 increases the use of limited natural resources. In many cases, economic
growth
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 is prioritised over environmental protection, which makes the situation worse.
However
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, the effects of these activities are serious for both the environment and human beings.
Firstly
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, damage to nature contributes to climate change and extreme weather fluctuations,
such
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 as floods, heatwaves and storms. These events reduce the number of plant and animal species.
Secondly
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, pollution directly affects human
health
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. Dirty air and contaminated water can cause respiratory illnesses and other
health
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 problems. Over time,
this
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 may weaken the immune system and reduce life expectancy. If these issues are not addressed, the long-term impact on future generations could be severe. In conclusion, industrial
growth
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, high levels of consumption and population increase are key causes of environmental damage. Their consequences can be seen in the decrease of ecosystems and the decline in human
health
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, which makes environmental protection extremely important.

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development
Add a few clear facts or real examples to back up your points.
grammar
Use more different sentence types to show range.
structure
Finish with a strong ending that restates the main idea.
lexical
Use easy, plain words and check spellings.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of linking words like First, Secondly, In addition.
task response
The essay explains causes and effects in a simple way.
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