IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some people feel that the private
lives
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 of
celebrities
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 should not be openly shared by the
media
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,
whereas
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 others believe there are good reasons for the
media
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 to do so. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the view that the private
lives
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 of
celebrities
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 should not be shared by the
media
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. It is my view that
celebrities
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, like all individuals, have a right to
privacy
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. Regardless of their public status,
celebrities
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 should enjoy the same
privacy
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 rights as any other individual. Constant
media
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 scrutiny can have detrimental effects on
celebrities
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' mental health, often leading to stress and anxiety. Setting boundaries is crucial because
while
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celebrities
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 may expect a certain loss of
privacy
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, there should be limits to how much the
media
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 can intrude into their personal
lives
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.
Moreover
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, undue focus on their private
lives
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 can shift attention away from their professional achievements to personal issues, which can negatively impact their careers and public image.
In contrast
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, some people claim that the public has a right to know about the private
lives
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 of
celebrities
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. They firmly insist that since
celebrities
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 are role models, their personal
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
 can have a significant influence on society.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as it overlooks the distinction between public interest and public good. Not all aspects of
celebrities
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'
lives
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 are beneficial for society to know about. The excessive focus on
celebrities
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' private
lives
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 can lead to sensationalism, which might overshadow more important news and societal issues.
Additionally
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,
celebrities
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 should have some level of control and give consent for what personal information is shared about them. In conclusion, I completely agree that the private
lives
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 of
celebrities
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 should not be shared by the
media
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. The respect for
privacy
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 and mental health is paramount, and the ethical considerations of public interest versus public good
further
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 support
this
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 view. The
media
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 should focus on
celebrities
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' professional achievements rather than intruding into their personal
lives
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments, particularly when discussing public interest versus public good.
coherence cohesion
Try to further enhance the logical flow and transition between your arguments to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, effectively setting up your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have concluded well, reiterating your stance and summarizing the key points.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively covers both sides of the argument, demonstrating a complete response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
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