Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bar

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people believe that particular criminals should

be punish

Change the verb form

be punished

show examples

with societal jobs that do not pay them rather than putting them behind

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bars. In my point of view, I totally agree with the statement, as

this

recommendation will enhance people's

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and help the country in terms of both cleanliness and finances. On the one hand, enforcing a beneficial punishment like unpaid

work

instead

of imprisonment can give individuals the opportunity to contribute to society and teach them the skills needed to help maintain the environment safe.

This

suggestation

Correct your spelling

suggestion

only

work

Correct subject-verb agreement

works

show examples

with light cases.

For instance

, when an individual

throw

Correct subject-verb agreement

throws

show examples

plastic waste

Change preposition

show examples

the beach without thinking of marine

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

and the appearance of the

abeach

Correct your spelling

beach

a beach

, in

this

case

Add the comma(s)

case,

show examples

the government can

enforce

Verb problem

force

show examples

him to

work

as a cleaner for a specific period ,

this

punishment would teach him the importance of the cleaners' jobs in keeping the environment clean,

as well as

the ways maintain to places properly.

On the other hand

This

kind of punishment is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

less expensive

Change preposition

for

show examples

the country compared with the costs of a

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

. When people

work

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

volunteer

Fix the agreement mistake

volunteers

show examples

and do not receive

earings

Correct your spelling

earnings

show examples

, it

reduce

Change the verb form

reduces

show examples

the number of workers, as

this

leads to

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

payroll responsibility of the country

while

continuing the

work

. whilst, the costs of a

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

involve providing specific clothes and

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

moreover

, the salaries of doctors and guards of the

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

are often higher than

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

normal

due to

the danger of the place. In conclusion,

While

imprisonment has

its

Change the word

the

show examples

value of making individuals

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

the rules since it imposes a

cruical

Correct your spelling

crucial

critical

routine on them,

enfourcing

Correct your spelling

ensuring

useful

work

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a significant role in shaping well-rounded individuals for the community.

Submitted by danall1kat on Tue Nov 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammatical accuracy

Consider improving grammatical accuracy throughout the essay, though small inaccuracies won't affect the grade substantialy, clarity could be improved.

lexical resource

Enhance vocabulary range and accuracy to increase sophistication of the arguments presented.

structure

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the position regarding prisoners performing unpaid community work.

task response

Strong task response with adequate examples provided that illustrate the main arguments well.

coherence cohesion

Well-organized content with logical progression of ideas across paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Rehabilitation
Constructive
Vocational skills
Cost-effective
Incarceration
Financial burden
Community cohesion
Integration
Public safety
Exploitation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that technological advancements have made traditional skills and methods obsolete, while others argue that these skills are still valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today's rapidly evolving world, the impact of technological advancements on traditional skills and methods is a topic of considerable debate. While some individuals assert that modern technology has rendered traditional skills obsolete, others contend that these skills retain significant value. This essay will examine both perspectives before offering a reasoned conclusion.
5
band
More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays because of growing technology working from home has become more common among workers. However, some individuals think this development is really helpful for employees and their families. While others think they bring work stress into their home. I am going to interpret both of these views and in the, end I am going to give my own opinions on the examples that I am going to discuss.
5
band
Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?
A wide range of chemicals' usage in preserving food has lead to some arguements in many countries. This writer argues that the benefits of longing products' lifespan and reducing preserving cost can outweigh the drawback of altering the ingredients.
5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some opine that parents are responsible for child's good behaviour while others suggest that schools play a major role in inculcating good habits to young ones. I, however think that both parties play equally a important role in child's brought up. My reasonings shall be discussed in the following passages.
6
band
"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.
There is no doubt that numerous methods to prevent disease have appeared in recent years. Some argue that it is better to spend more money to innovate in prevention rather than cure. personally, i believe it will be useful to find a way to foresee the trouble of the body and then stop it,therefore, i completely agree with this point of view, which can be supported by the reasons as follows.

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that technological advancements have made traditional skills and methods obsolete, while others argue that these skills are still valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.