Modern technology such as personal computers and the internets have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of their work instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation

Present-
time
,
Innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
Innovations
show examples
such
as
Correct article usage
the internets
show examples
internets
Fix the agreement mistake
internet
show examples
and personal computers have made it believable for many people to do their
work
at
home
at least
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
show examples
part of
work
as an alternative
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
going to a workplace day-to-day. It has some benefits and drawbacks. It is convenient for people and economically of
time
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it has drawbacks
such
as being detrimental to mental
health
. On the one hand, working at
home
has two main benefits.
Firstly
, comfort for workers.
For example
, flexible
work
hours and
home
comfort, remote
work
often allows
employees
to set their hours, making it easier to balance personal and professional responsibilities. It will increase the balance of
work
.
Secondly
,
home
working saves
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
time
. No need to spend
time
on unnecessary things.
For instance
, travelling to the office and preparing for
work
. Many people spend their
time
in traffic jams on their path to
work
. Staying in comfortable attire cuts down on
time
spent getting ready for
work
, allowing
employees
to start their day quickly
On the other hand
, it has significant disadvantages that hurt mental
health
. Workers will be isolated and reduce social interaction.
For example
, working at
home
will lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation
due to
limited face-to-face communication with colleagues. It can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the mental
health
of
employees
, which will decline effectively off
employees
. In conclusion, working at
home
has benefits
such
as saving
time
and convenience,
while
drawbacks are here too. Mental
health
will be damaged by isolation and reduced social interaction.
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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task achievement
Clarify your main points in each paragraph to ensure that each point is distinct and well-supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples or elaborations to strengthen the arguments presented in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are generally clear. However, try to introduce your main points more explicitly in the introduction, and summarize them clearly in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases and linking words to improve the logical progression of ideas between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies both advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which responds to the prompt appropriately.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear attempt to organize the essay with paragraphs dedicated to different points.
task achievement
The author acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexible working hours
  • increased productivity
  • commute time
  • work-life balance
  • financial savings
  • global talent pool
  • geographic constraints
  • isolation
  • social interaction
  • separating work from personal life
  • communication and collaboration
  • face-to-face interactions
  • misunderstandings
  • team members
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