IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern technology such as personal computers and the internets have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of their work instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation

#technology #computers #internets #people #work #home #part #office #situation
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Present-
time
Use synonyms
,
Innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
Innovations
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such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
the internets
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internets
Fix the agreement mistake
internet
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 and personal computers have made it believable for many people to do their
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 at least
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
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 part of
work
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 as an alternative
of
Change preposition
to
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 going to a workplace day-to-day. It has some benefits and drawbacks. It is convenient for people and economically of
time
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it has drawbacks
such
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 as being detrimental to mental
health
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. On the one hand, working at
home
Use synonyms
 has two main benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, comfort for workers.
For example
Linking Words
, flexible
work
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 hours and
home
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 comfort, remote
work
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 often allows
employees
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 to set their hours, making it easier to balance personal and professional responsibilities. It will increase the balance of
work
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
home
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 working saves
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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time
Use synonyms
. No need to spend
time
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 on unnecessary things.
For instance
Linking Words
, travelling to the office and preparing for
work
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. Many people spend their
time
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 in traffic jams on their path to
work
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. Staying in comfortable attire cuts down on
time
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 spent getting ready for
work
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, allowing
employees
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 to start their day quickly
On the other hand
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, it has significant disadvantages that hurt mental
health
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. Workers will be isolated and reduce social interaction.
For example
Linking Words
, working at
home
Use synonyms
 will lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation
due to
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 limited face-to-face communication with colleagues. It can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
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the mental
health
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 of
employees
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, which will decline effectively off
employees
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. In conclusion, working at
home
Use synonyms
 has benefits
such
Linking Words
 as saving
time
Use synonyms
 and convenience,
while
Linking Words
 drawbacks are here too. Mental
health
Use synonyms
 will be damaged by isolation and reduced social interaction.
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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task achievement
Clarify your main points in each paragraph to ensure that each point is distinct and well-supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples or elaborations to strengthen the arguments presented in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are generally clear. However, try to introduce your main points more explicitly in the introduction, and summarize them clearly in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases and linking words to improve the logical progression of ideas between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies both advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which responds to the prompt appropriately.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear attempt to organize the essay with paragraphs dedicated to different points.
task achievement
The author acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexible working hours
  • increased productivity
  • commute time
  • work-life balance
  • financial savings
  • global talent pool
  • geographic constraints
  • isolation
  • social interaction
  • separating work from personal life
  • communication and collaboration
  • face-to-face interactions
  • misunderstandings
  • team members
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