IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet while others believe that nothing can replace physical classrooms with direct guidance from teachers.Discuss both views( and give your own opinion).

#people #schools #children #information #internet #classrooms #guidance #teachers
There is no denying that Internet technology brought many innovations, especially in
education
.
While
 many people consider that
schools
 must go on for effective
education
, others do not.
This
 essay supports that for having good social skills and critical thinking,
schools
, and teachers have huge significance.
To begin
 with, physical
schools
 present many opportunities for pupils
such
 as making friends, having impressive communication skills, and more. Take an example,
students
 who spend five or more hours in the classroom with their peers experience sharing, discussing, being team.
Moreover
, it provides many advantages for their lives and careers in the future.
Secondly
, when
students
 belong to a classroom being have a chance to discuss and questions about what they learn. If
students
 inquire about given information, it assists in improving their critical thinking and their perspectives. In
this
 way,
students
 can benefit from other
students
 and
also
 their teachers' opinions.
On the other hand
, others believe that online sources are more effective than
schools
. Thanks to the internet every single information is accessible in seconds.
For instance
,
students
 can reach what they want in seconds not only written but
also
 as voices or videos.
Furthermore
, it is the fastest and cheapest way to
education
.
However
, in the long process, it may be problematic in terms of student development, and it can cause many negatives in their future lives. In conclusion, spending time in classrooms provides memorable and priceless experiences for
students
 to develop their social skills and
also
 their perspectives when compared with online resources. Personally, the benefits of
education
 in a physical classroom outweigh the negatives.
Submitted by serab.5091 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using transitional phrases like 'In addition,' 'Firstly,' and 'Moreover' consistently will help ensure better logical progression.
task achievement
For task achievement, incorporating more specific examples can further strengthen your arguments. For instance, real-life examples or statistics can make your points more compelling.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and provides a strong personal opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing the essay nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: