You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic : There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #phones #forms

By developing smartphones and widespread

of using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

them, several issues in terms of medical and technical ones would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

occured

Correct your spelling

occur

. These problems can be seen in different shapes

incuding

Correct your spelling

including

tending to have

Correct article usage

a sedantry

show examples

sedantry

Correct your spelling

sedentary

lifestyle or facing

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of concentration.

Although

it is argued that cell

phones

may have certain negative points, I firmly agree that the positive points of

smarphones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

could overshadow the drawbacks. It is undeniable that mobile

phones

have

revelutionized

Correct your spelling

revolutionized

revolutionised

the community world and

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

several duties rather easier. I

conceade

Correct your spelling

concede

conclude

concealed

that doing many

tasks

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

become faster and easier, the problem is that, by

this

approach, the vast majority of people prefer to have

dormant

Correct article usage

a dormant

show examples

lifstyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

without activity.

Moreover

, since smartphones act as a bridge to amazing social media, I think, several individuals are not able to

focous

Correct your spelling

focus

on their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

study

Replace the word

studies

show examples

as well as

before anymore. I

aknowledge

Correct your spelling

acknowledge

that social media have far

veriouse

Correct your spelling

various

serious

Change preposition

of contents

show examples

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

for learning or

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

, the problem is that, sometimes,

this

become

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

distactive

Correct your spelling

disruptive

On the other hand

, cell

phones

improve some ways of communication and

also

, make it cheaper and more accessible regardless of location.

for instance

, many people are able to communicate all around the world with each other with instant

massaging

Correct your spelling

messaging

show examples

apps. Apart from that, mobile

phones

introduce

a new methods

Correct the article-noun agreement

new methods

a new method

show examples

lifstyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

in order to not only increase the speed of some

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

such

tasks

related to bank and

acounting

Correct your spelling

accounting

counting

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

make those

tasks

far more accurate without any

disturbing

Replace the word

disturbance

show examples

. Doing

tasks

with mobile

phones

, would decrease or even prevent some annoying situations

such

as traffic jams or standing in long

ques

Correct your spelling

queues

show examples

. All being said,

apealing

Correct your spelling

appealing

Correct article usage

a sedantry

show examples

sedantry

Correct your spelling

sedentary

pedantry

lifstyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

and having

Add an article

a problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

with concentrating would be some kinds of issues with

outbreaking

Correct article usage

the outbreaking

show examples

smarphones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

While

cell

phones

are said to have several drawbacks, I wholeheartedly believe that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

mobile

phones

overcome

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Wed Nov 06 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your task response, consider expanding on your arguments with more detailed examples and deeper analysis. This could strengthen your position on whether the problems of mobile phones outweigh the benefits.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking phrases and ensure each paragraph connects smoothly to the next. This will enhance the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively wraps up your arguments.

task achievement

You have identified several key issues related to mobile phone usage, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Towns and cities should be divided into zones so that all the schools are in one area, all the shopping malls are located together and all the industrial sites are situated close to each other. To what extent do you agree that urban areas should be split into distinct zones?