Some people say to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

In light of the proliferation of development, diseases and illness are serious problems that need to be averted, some people believe that the government should concentrate on tackling environmental contamination and accommodation trouble to solve those problems.

This

writer contends that focusing on housing and environmental issues will improve citizens’ quality of life and lower the rate of homelessness. It must be acknowledged that cleaning the surrounding areas can significantly reduce cases of illness and infection. By clearing the atmosphere and the water sources, local residents will be protected from various respiratory diseases and harmful substances in their drinks.

Consequently

, the standard of life in many societies is greatly enhanced and the country’s state of health can

also

gain some benefits.

Therefore

, funding ecological projects should be an advisable course of action. Take the neighborhoods near the nuclear waste for an example, it takes several years for it to decay and the local can be heavily impacted in the meantime. Another point worth considering is that solving the problem of accommodation can cut down the number of homeless people on the streets. In

other word

Change the wording

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, it should be self-evident that by using abandoned lands for apartments or community houses, individuals will have more options to stay in.

As a result

, more residents will have a comfortable place to live

while

making use of unwanted sites. It must

also

be noted that creating opportunities for many communities to live together can create relationships between neighbours. In conclusion, the government should focus on eliminating environmental pollution and housing problems to improve citizens’

overall

health and reduce the amount of people sleeping outside.

Therefore

this

essay has demonstrated clear points to the aforementioned statement.

Mon Apr 22 2024

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Specific Examples

Ensure that your examples are not only relevant but also detailed enough to strongly support your argument. For instance, when mentioning the impact of clearing atmosphere and water sources, providing specific instances or statistics could strengthen your point.

Task Completion

To improve task achievement, aim to fully address all parts of the task. Make sure that your arguments cover a wide range of possible considerations and that your conclusion summarily addresses the prompt comprehensively.

Language Variety

Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Structure

Your essay displays a good logical structure, introducing the topic clearly, developing arguments cohesively, and concluding effectively.

Position

You have a clear thesis statement and maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay, which helps in clarifying your position on the issue.

Examples

The use of examples, like neighborhoods near nuclear waste, to support your argument is a good strategy to make your writing persuasive and grounded.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, sports stars have become increasingly famous and wealthy. For some this is a benefit, raising the profit of sports, but for others, it is a negative influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarranted, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

Some countries have implemented a four-day workweek to improve work-life balance. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however, say that cooperation and teamwork and skills are more important discuss both sides and give your opinion

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?