IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In many nations, It is crucial for
people
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 to own a home
instead
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 of rent one. The essay aims to illustrate why
this
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 might be the case for many
people
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 and give my opinion if
this
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 is a positive or negative situation. Owning a house rather than renting one is extremely important for many cultures
due to
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 the security and stability that houses provide. It is considered that having your own property contributes to securing your future
as well as
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 your children’s lives.
Additionally
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, freedom and stability given by owning property are extremely valuable especially these days with the cost of living.
For instance
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, in Saudi Arabia,
people
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 take a mortgage to buy a house because their culture encourages them to do
this
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 which provides security and protection for their family. Having said that, owning a home has a huge positive impact on your
life
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 either in present or future situations. Having a property gives you a sense of guarantee and security and that has a good impact on your
life
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. To illustrate, ownership
people
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 are more likely to provide a better
life
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 for their family because they do not have to spend more money on renting
besides
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 their pils or food
for example
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. It is said that
people
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 who have their own homes are in more better psychological state and safety than others. From my perspective, owned homes have a huge positive effect on
people
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 which
also
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 provides a better
life
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 for them. In conclusion, it is essential for
people
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 to have their own homes rather than waste their money on rent apartments because
people
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 need to be
secured
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secure
show examples
 and guaranteed either for themselves or for their children. From my point of view,
this
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 phenomenon has a benefit for
people
Use synonyms
 which gives them a sense of safety and stability in their lives.

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Task Response
Ensure that examples provided are specific and directly support the argument. Instead of general statements, use detailed examples to illustrate how owning a home impacts people's lives.
Coherence and Cohesion
A more logical division or paragraphing might strengthen the argument and make it easier for readers to follow your points. Consider clearly separating points about cultural importance from economic reasons when discussing why owning is important.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the importance of home ownership and stating your position effectively.
Task Achievement
Strong points are presented regarding cultural reasons and financial security as motivations for owning a home. This demonstrates a good level of understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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