Many of the world’s cities are currently facing a serious problem of housing shortage. What are the reasons for this shortage and what solutions do you suggest?
It is true that poverty become an important issue around the world. The number of
people
who do not have a house
is higher than others. There are some reasons and solutions to cover this
problem.
One
reason behind the housing shortage is because
the Correct word choice
apply
land
price
. The government did not have strong power to make a rule for this
problem. As a result
, people
who have a lot of money can buy property
without any bound
. They will change the standard Correct your spelling
bond
price
to higher based on the location as
they want. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, they will become a landlord in every place with high cost in rent
. Hence
, poor people
will difficult to have a house
with the
Correct article usage
a
price
that they cannot buy for the land
. For other reasons is because young people
now never have a plan to buy a house
for their future. They prefer to rent
an apartment or live with their parents since they do not need to pay for living
. Correct article usage
a living
Nevertheless
, this
problem can make them difficult in older age. They need to share a house
with their siblings or other families in one
house
and it can make unhealthy life in living. They think having a house
is not top
priority for their Add an article
the top
a top
live
. Replace the word
lives
Also
, they think by rent
an apartment they can Change the verb form
renting
living in
downtown with Wrong verb form
live
low
cost Correct word choice
a lower
that
having a Correct word choice
than
house
in the same place. Wheras
, they can save more many Correct your spelling
Whereas
year
by year not by paying for the Change to a plural noun
years
rent
but for installment
for Change the spelling
instalment
Add an article
a house
the house
house
that can be private Fix the agreement mistake
houses
property
for them.
The solution, government
should make strong Add an article
the government
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
to
citizens to Change preposition
for
ownership in
Wrong verb form
own
property
. They need to make borders in landlord or property
having. Moreover
, they need to make a limit on the price
from one
location to another location, and also
limit for costs that must spent by people
. For example
, one
person only can buy one
land
in downtown and only can build house
based on Add an article
a house
number
Add an article
the number
for
their children. If they want to buy more they can buy in urban Change preposition
of
area
with size limitations based on the purpose of the Fix the agreement mistake
areas
land
. Another solution,
is the young generations now need to have socialisation to have a Remove the comma
apply
house
by themself it is because a house
is an important thing to have not only for them but also
for their children of for their future.
In conclusion, house
shortage can be faced by people
not only by the government. Both sectors need to learn based on the problems that happened before. Citizens also
need to have initiative to
themself by having Change preposition
apply
land
and building houses for them to live. They can move and live alone when they grow up so they can have more responsibility for their life.Submitted by sastyoke on
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task achievement
Try to develop your examples further by providing more specific details to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains a single clear idea, and support it with evidence or reasons.
task achievement
Work on ensuring more precise use of vocabulary and grammar to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed the task by discussing both the reasons for housing shortages and suggested solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay ends with a conclusion that summarizes your main points, effectively wrapping up your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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