IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

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Nowadays, many health workers are researching and treating the disease, which requires a significant amount of funding.
Therefore
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, prevention is a more effective approach in the long term. Personally, I totally agree with
this
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 statement for some reasons mentioned in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, a health worker who intervenes in a healthy
person
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 is easier than a sick
person
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 because they are in good condition.
Therefore
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, the health worker will not inhibited
while
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 encouraging people to be healthy. They just need to ensure that people are taking care of their bodies,
such
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 as avoiding unhealthy lifestyles. Because of that, everyone will stay healthy and prevent various diseases.
For instance
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, a midwife is educating some pregnant women in the community to increase their intake of healthy food. It Is simpler to implement prevention actions rather than dealing with complicated conditions like overcoming hypertension in pregnant women.
Moreover
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, disease preventive measures are cheaper than being a patient in the hospital. The people should only focus on maintaining their good lifestyles every day. They are directed to eat healthy food and do some exercise regularly, without spending a lot of money.
For example
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, it is not expensive for a healthy
person
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 to always eat vegetables and fruits compared to eating in a hospital
due to
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 hospitalization and it costs more expensive.
To conclude
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, I hold a firm belief that preventing is a more effective and efficient measure rather than curing a
person
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 because of easy action and only needs a low budget.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, such as statistics or studies that support prevention over cure.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clear and structured introduction and conclusion that address the topic directly.
task achievement
Good use of logical reasoning to support the viewpoint that prevention is cost-effective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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