Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they release from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #release #prison

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There have been many cases of prisoners

commit

Wrong verb form

committing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes after they get released from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

due to

Linking Words

many reasons. I believe the

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

of the crimes are different depending on the criminal;

however

Linking Words

, there is a common motivation for most situations. In the case of robbery, the thieves usually have financial problems or

badly

Change the word

bad

show examples

debts lead to stealing other

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

valuable things or even invading individual houses which will allow people to repeat the actions after getting arrested because their personal problems are not solved

due to

Linking Words

unemployment, the reasons are they probably have

low

Add an article

a low

show examples

level of education which leads to limited skills to have opportunities to work. The practical

solutions

Fix the agreement mistake

solution

show examples

to decrease the illegal records is

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

government should prioritize

this

Linking Words

issue by investing money to allocate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stable careers for the prisoners after they are released. Providing assured work is a door to open the prospects to fix their finances and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

steady

Correct article usage

a steady

show examples

life. In the jail,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should arrange the professional skills

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

law breaker

Correct your spelling

lawbreaker

show examples

, once they are taught it enables them to identify their abilities and find what they need to improve

for instance

Linking Words

there has been a case, where the prisoners discovered their talents and brought those techniques in the work

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

. In conclusion, these methods will not be effective if the government

would

Verb problem

does

show examples

not accommodate the criminals’ lives after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison by offering steady

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

or introducing them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

companies. I believe that these strategies can reduce the rate of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes in our society.

Submitted by esaraica on Thu Nov 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider using more specific examples to effectively illustrate your points. For instance, citing specific rehabilitation programs that have proven successful could strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Ensure that all your ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively. Elaborate more on how exactly the solutions can be applied, and what makes them particularly effective.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure in your essay, with a logical flow that guides the reader from causes to solutions effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument.

task achievement

You provided a solid perspective by linking unemployment and lack of education to repeat offenses, and offered rehabilitative education as a solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Globalization is a process by which businesses or other organizations develop international influence. It opens a vast business opportunity beyond the boundaries of nations. This economic reform comes with both positives and negatives. I will discuss the opposite sides of the same coin in the following paragraphs.
<4
band
Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinons as thet. Other people believe it's good to have frineds who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.
There is an ongoing debate in the society these days where some opine that it's benefitial to have friends who share same intrests and hobbies. whilst others disagree and thinks different mindset and seprate opinion is necessary in friendship. I believe completely agree with the latter statement, different opinions and disagreements help an individual to understand things from third person prespective.
6
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that children should be taught by their parents about how to function as useful members of society, while others believe that sending children to educational institutions is the best way for them to study this. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating children to be good parts of the community.
4.5
band
Describe a restaurant or a cafe you often go to. You should say: 👍 Where it is What it looks like What kind of services are provided What kind of food you like there/ What kind of food is famous? And say why you like it
I’ll start to talk about my fascinating restaurant and often go there. It’s a buffet and Hong Kong’s hotpot style. It’s named MONGKOK. The first time I ate there was a year ago at The mall Ngamwongwan department store. But after that, I usually go to the M9 square branch on Huai Kwang road more often because it’s less crowded and there’s plenty of parking. I think I eat there with my friend once a month. The cuisine is inspired from Hong Kong’s street and the decor features vibrance red and colorful colors that made me hungrier when I visited; in addition, there are two types of table that are a long counter for those who come alone and the family seats. Personally I often choose family seats because It’s quite convenient when I want to talk with my friends. MONGKOK is our favorite restaurant because we both love the taste of soups and the varieties of foods. I think there are five categories of soups and my friend loves mushroom soup. As for me, I prefer MALA soup over others. In...
5.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
With more developed countries emphasizing on building up their economies, there are different voices raising from citizens that progress in other aspect are playing an important role for a country too. In my opinion, I believe having a good economy is always the first priority in a country's development.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they release from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinons as thet. Other people believe it's good to have frineds who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Describe a restaurant or a cafe you often go to. You should say: 👍 Where it is What it looks like What kind of services are provided What kind of food you like there/ What kind of food is famous? And say why you like it

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.