Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many people argue that
competition
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between individuals at
work
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or at school is a good thing,
while
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others claim they need to cooperate together more, rather than competing against each other.
However
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, in
this
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essay, I will discuss both
perspective
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perspectives
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and provide my own opinion.
Competition
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between employees at
work
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or
betweet
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between
students at schools
,
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apply
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can have various advantages and disadvantages.
Competition
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can be a good
motivantion
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motivator
for people to be more successful, and do their best to achieve their goals.
Therefore
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, it
also
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can be a reason for damaging relationships between each other.
For example
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, A study conducted by Oxford University revealed that
competition
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often
happen
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happens
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between youth, and it
lead
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leads
show examples
to many issues in relationships, as they all want to be
the
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apply
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successful, so it can lead to hate each other. So,
competition
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can play a crucial role
for
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in
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success but
if
Rephrase
only if
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it can managed in the right way.
On the other hand
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, we should
encouragement
Replace the word
encourage
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cooperation more in society for different reasons.
Cooperate
Wrong verb form
Cooperating
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can improve the relationships between people in different places
such
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as
work
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or university,
also
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it can enhance
the
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apply
show examples
society. As working together can give various ideas and creative things to enhance the
work
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so it would lead to success and
increae
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increase
the economic in
country
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the country
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.
For instance
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, at
company
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the company
a company
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, when workers
work
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with each other and everyone gives their opinion and ideas
so
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apply
show examples
it can enhance
Correct article usage
the company
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company
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company's
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economic
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economy
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and
also
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improve their experiences in their careers. In conclusion, both
perspective
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perspectives
show examples
can have a
posetive
Correct your spelling
positive
impact on individuals, but
also
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it can have a negative side.
Competition
Use synonyms
it
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apply
show examples
is better if they take it as
motivantion
Correct your spelling
motivation
to be more
succussful
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successful
.
Furthermore
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, we
shold
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should
also
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try to cooperate as it is lead for good things.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure each paragraph delivers one specific point with clear evidence or examples to support it. This will improve both coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with language accuracy. While small inaccuracies won't significantly affect your grade, reducing them will clarify your argument.
task achievement
Ensure examples are relevant and specific. This strengthens your arguments and shows a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and your final opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives of the question and gives a personal opinion, fulfilling the task achievement requirement effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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