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Writing Samples
Band 5

The percentage of people arrested from 1990 until 1994

#percentage #people
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The charts depict the percentage of people arrested by gender from 1990 to 1994,
along with
 the reasons for these arrests.
Overall
, a higher proportion of men were arrested compared to women, with
drink
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drunk
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 driving and assault being common causes. It is apparent that more men were arrested than women during the period.
Furthermore
,
drink
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drunk
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 driving was a leading cause of arrest for both genders, followed by assault and speeding.
In contrast
, jaywalking and petty theft were less common reasons, especially among females. In the chart of arrested people, 32% of men were arrested between 1990 and 1994,
while
 only 9% of women faced arrest. Regarding specific reasons for arrests,
drink
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drunk
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 driving accounted for the highest percentage among both males and females. Assault and speeding were
also
 common, with more males involved in these
offenses
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offences
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 than females. Meanwhile, petty theft and jaywalking were recorded less frequently, particularly among female arrestees.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on how the different causes of arrest impact the overall trends. This will add depth to your analysis and strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion reinforces the main findings and offers a clear summary.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the data and presents a clear overview of the arrest patterns by gender and reasons.
task achievement
Key data points, such as percentages of male and female arrests, are well-presented, supporting the overall analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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