Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion , hairstyle and so on . Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #fashion #hairstyle #development

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These days , in many parts of the world humans are adhering to the current

trends

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haircut

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haircuts

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and etcetera. Their passion for style is leading them even

stealing

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steal

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to be in trend and

wasting

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waste

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their time by doing

such

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kinds of useless activities .

In addition

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this

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, In my

opinion

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opinion,

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it is a negative habit .

Firstly

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,in today's digital world ,social media platforms like Instagram ,

Correct word choice

and Tik

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Tik

Correct your spelling

TikTok

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tok

Verb problem

apply

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heavily influence fashion and hairstyles.

Trends

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evolve rapidly , with influencers often showcasing unique,eye-catching styles that resonate with many

people

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, especially younger generations .

This

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creates a cycle where

people

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feel encouraged, or even obligated,to keep up with these changes.

Secondly

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trend

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trends

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and hairstyles can

also

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reflect cultural backgrounds. Traditional attires or hairstyles ,

for instance

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, frequently carry historical and cultural significance. Economically , the fashion-forward designs

contributes

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contribute

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significantly to many countries, economies ,providing jobs and fueling activity , but it can

also

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lead to issues like fast fashion , which raises concerns about environmental impact.

While

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some argue that keeping up with

trends

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encourages self-expression and innovation. I believe that blindly following

trends

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can conform to negative consequences, particularly in terms of individuality, financial pressure and environmental harm.

Apart from

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this

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this,

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it may

observe

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cause

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people

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to lose their unique style or personality.

In addition

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this

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, young

people

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may abandon their personal preferences to conform to what's popular, sacrificing genuine self-expression for social approval. By the way of conclusion,

although

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trends

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can be enjoyable and a way to connect with others , prioritizing them over individuality ,financial stability and environmental responsibility can have serious negative effects . A balanced approach is ,

therefore

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, essential.

Submitted by Writing9 on Thu Nov 07 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, mention particular fashion trends or incidents of people taking extreme measures to follow trends.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences appear slightly disjointed. Consider using transitional phrases to improve flow, like ‘furthermore’ or ‘moreover’.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develops it thoroughly. This can help strengthen the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

You've effectively identified the influence of social media as a key driver in fashion trends, which is a relevant point in today's context.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your position well.

task achievement

The discussion on cultural significance adds depth to your analysis, showcasing an understanding of the topic from multiple angles.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Globalization
Social Media
Celebrities
Influencers
Peer Pressure
Social Acceptance
Disposable Income
Self-esteem
Confidence
Marketing Campaigns
Consumer Behavior
Fast Fashion
Sustainable Fashion
Self-expression
Cultural Identity

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Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion , hairstyle and so on . Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?