Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion , hairstyle and so on . Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development?

These days , in many parts of the world humans are adhering to the current

trends

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haircut

Fix the agreement mistake

haircuts

show examples

and etcetera. Their passion for style is leading them even

stealing

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steal

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to be in trend and

wasting

Wrong verb form

waste

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their time by doing

such

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kinds of useless activities .

In addition

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this

Linking Words

, In my

opinion

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opinion,

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it is a negative habit .

Firstly

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,in today's digital world ,social media platforms like Instagram ,

Correct word choice

and Tik

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Tik

Correct your spelling

TikTok

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tok

Verb problem

apply

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heavily influence fashion and hairstyles.

Trends

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evolve rapidly , with influencers often showcasing unique,eye-catching styles that resonate with many

people

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, especially younger generations .

This

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creates a cycle where

people

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feel encouraged, or even obligated,to keep up with these changes.

Secondly

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trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

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and hairstyles can

also

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reflect cultural backgrounds. Traditional attires or hairstyles ,

for instance

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, frequently carry historical and cultural significance. Economically , the fashion-forward designs

contributes

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contribute

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significantly to many countries, economies ,providing jobs and fueling activity , but it can

also

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lead to issues like fast fashion , which raises concerns about environmental impact.

While

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some argue that keeping up with

trends

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encourages self-expression and innovation. I believe that blindly following

trends

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can conform to negative consequences, particularly in terms of individuality, financial pressure and environmental harm.

Apart from

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this

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this,

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it may

observe

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cause

show examples

people

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to lose their unique style or personality.

In addition

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this

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, young

people

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may abandon their personal preferences to conform to what's popular, sacrificing genuine self-expression for social approval. By the way of conclusion,

although

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trends

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can be enjoyable and a way to connect with others , prioritizing them over individuality ,financial stability and environmental responsibility can have serious negative effects . A balanced approach is ,

therefore

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, essential.

Writing9

Nov 7, 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, mention particular fashion trends or incidents of people taking extreme measures to follow trends.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences appear slightly disjointed. Consider using transitional phrases to improve flow, like ‘furthermore’ or ‘moreover’.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develops it thoroughly. This can help strengthen the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

You've effectively identified the influence of social media as a key driver in fashion trends, which is a relevant point in today's context.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your position well.

task achievement

The discussion on cultural significance adds depth to your analysis, showcasing an understanding of the topic from multiple angles.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Globalization
Social Media
Celebrities
Influencers
Peer Pressure
Social Acceptance
Disposable Income
Self-esteem
Confidence
Marketing Campaigns
Consumer Behavior
Fast Fashion
Sustainable Fashion
Self-expression
Cultural Identity

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Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion , hairstyle and so on . Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development?

Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?